Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Sunday, December 20, 2015

I'm Back and I'm Gone. See You Next Year!

Were you wondering if I had a great birthday? Because I did! And yes, gave myself TWO lazy days. Thanks for understanding ;) Now I'm back. But! I'm leaving again tomorrow. I'm flying home for the holidays soooo... this is my last painting in 2015! Ah! I'll see you guys in a couple weeks when I'm back in LA. I hope you have a magnificent end of the year!

This is my fourth bee painting. So it is titled "Bee Four". Hah! That's a word. And also a bingo square.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Dope Coincidence That My Relax Explanation Comes with a Relaxation Dope Painting

Since starting my video series about this project, speaking openly about it and really thinking hard about where it's going, I've decided to be more forgiving of myself. So what does that mean? Well, it means tomorrow is my birthday and I'm not going to paint. Haha yep! I'm taking a day off. Usually my only excuse was if I was traveling (because painting is hard on a plane). But after 2,615 paintings, I'm hoping you guys think it's ok to have a lazy day on my birthday. I'm really just trying to convince myself at this point. I was recently also more lenient a couple of times when I was working on a Free Paintings video instead of painting. It really is a weight lifted off of my shoulders to know I don't have to be so stringent with a perfect execution of these project "rules". Rules that I made up! So here goes. I'm going to stop being such a pushy jerk with myself and breathe a bit. Hah. Just kidding. I'm never going to stop overworking myself, it's just going to be with other projects more now haha

I should take a note from this guy and learn how to chill out. Really let loose and fire up a... tiny burning megaphone? I dunno. What is he's holding? Why does it smell like skunk in here?

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Could Also Call Him a Hoverbird

Hummingbirds are the helicopters of the bird world.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Sometimes Less Isn't More with Filenames

Sometimes I forget the specifics about what I painted and then when I go to post about it, I can't remember what it is, nor can I find the original email. This was one of those times. Here we have a "Gypsy Shire Horse" which I just labeled "horse6.jpg. Quite unhelpful. I finally figured out the original request by Googling for "black and white horse breed hoof hair" (which is significantly less elegant than their actual name). But if you throw enough words at Google, it will eventually figure out what your stupid human brain means and give you an answer.

Monday, December 14, 2015

The Funny Thing Is, You Can Buy Metal Detectors at B&H

No mom visiting this time. Just busy/forgetful, sorry!

As if a cat using a metal detector isn't weird enough, it had to be a pirate cat.

This is for a guy that works at B&H. Pretty cool that he loves his job enough to put it on his wall.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Friday, December 11, 2015

Inspecting Their Territory

A painting of a special moment someone caught on film where some flowers leaned in to sniff a dog.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Welcome Home, Mom!

Sorry I forgot to post yesterday. My mom was visiting me from the east coast! So I was a bit distracted. I'm less concerned about it than I usually would be because my number one reader was hanging out with me.

Don't let the video game players fool you. This is a painting of a couple. They're just being represented by their Final Fantasy characters.

Two drums and a cymbal walk off a cliff... Ba-dum chhsss

I did not write this joke. And it certainly plays better aurally. But you needed to be exposed to it. So you're welcome.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Dominance Dilemma

This is Doraemon and Wall-E, both robots from the future. Are they friends or is Doraemon the pet? I'm sure social hierarchy is tough for robots. Especially when some of them are anthropomorphic animals.

Monday, December 7, 2015

There Is No Hand Lettering in Speed Painting

This requester asked me to paint my idea of "a critical fail in Dungeons & Dragons". I went with the die used for that game minus the numbers because not being able to get any outcome at all when you roll seems pretty critical to me. Also because numbers are hard.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Hipster Rooster

The wattle is the beard of the bird world.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

In Free Paintings World, I Am God

This is a dog driving a speedboat. Because anything is possible when you email a stranger and ask her to make it happen.

Friday, December 4, 2015

This New Series Is a Blast

Today's painting ties into my newest YouTube video! No, it's not the painting in the video. (I'll be posting that one soon.)

When I started making those vlogs about my Free Paintings, I created a reward level on my Patreon page where you can get a painting if you want to support my videos. This is my first painting for a Patreon teammate! Yay! So far I'm pretty happy with this new direction. I like doing time lapses of my paintings and then talking about them. I hope you guys like it, too. I hope you think it's... THE BOMB! HAH.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Bird of Color

I bet this guy is good at baseball. Is that birdist? Sorry. Not all blue jays can throw a pitch and are from Toronto.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Full Moon Rockstar

When he's a human, he's a folk musician with an acoustic.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

You Can Let It Go After You Hear Let It Go

Ok, I know I said "See you next week!" but I had to add a couple weeks onto that. I've been quite busy with the YouTubes... so I willlllll have a new Free Paintings video for you this Thursday! Hopefully that makes up for it ;)

If this painting made noise it would sound like my favorite voice on the planet. Elsa from Frozen was voiced by the broadway star, Idina Menzel. She sings "Let It Go" about halfway through the movie. I don't know what happens in the second half of the movie.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Verbose Excuse

One of my most fabulous of friends is getting married. The impending nuptials absolutely require me to get my butt to the east coast of these United States to celebrate with her. While I am relocating said buttocks and subsequently partying, I shan't be painting. See you next week!

Monday, November 9, 2015

Dude and a Dog

Eep! I had a painting but I didn't show you yesterday. So here it is along with today's.

I didn't realize The Walking Dead was a comic book before painting this. I had only heard about the TV series. You know the statement, "the movie was ok but the book was way better"? Does that pretension level stay the same when you replace "movie" with "TV show" and "book" with "comic"?

It's crazy how good dogs are at catching things with their mouths. I mean, it makes sense considering they use their mouths like we use our hands. But think about, as a human, trying to be as talented with mouth eye coordination as they are. I feel like that's just as baffling a feeling as dogs get when they think about opposable thumbs.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Stole the Show

A painting of the supporting actor in Jurassic Park.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Somebody Has to Do It

Each of these stars represents a family member of the requester. My work is the PANDORA Bracelet of the art world.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Pink Grows on Trees

I really want to climb this tree. I feel like my clothes would be pink once I got out of it.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015


I used to draw Looney Tunes a ton when I was in grade school. I'm glad my life has come full circle. Like a spinning Tasmanian Devil.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Or Anything Else, Really

This painting has the potential to be a castle.

Monday, November 2, 2015

So Many Options

I feel like he has a tough time deciding which arm to use to tip his hat.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Michigan James "Logan" Howletts

This mascot is pretty darn cool looking. His mouth reminds me of the grumpy little pout the beast does in Beauty and the Beast when he gets a makeover. Though it would be slightly cooler if they were the Michigan Wolverines and their mascot was the X-Men character.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Space Cat Only Happens for a Moment

This is what my interpretation of "space cat" is. Now I'm concerned he's not able to breathe out there.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Not to Mention Pecking Dive Bombs

This the the Boston University Boston Terrier mascot vs. the University of Louisville Cardinal mascot. They look like an even matchup but realistically, a fight between a dog and a bird would end very gruesomely. That is to say, if the bird stuck around to actually battle. He could just fly away immediately following the match's starting bell. Which would be pretty uneventful. So wait, the fight would either be a mouth full of feathers or a dog just standing, dumbfounded by himself in a ring. Ok, maybe it's a good matchup.

Thursday, October 29, 2015


If M.C. Escher was a minimalist. This would be all he would paint.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

So The One on the Right Is a Plant

This is a jellyfish and a sunfish. I assume they have those names based on what they eat.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I'll Need to Pick Up Some Red and Green Bed Sheets

I just realized that I've never been to a toga party. What the heck?! I need to fix this immediately. I wonder if my family will be cool with a themed Christmas dinner this year.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Use Out-of-Fashion Glasses If You Find Your Fruit Becomes Too Cool

One of my really great friends from college is getting married this weekend! Why am I telling you this? Because it means I'll be in Portland, MC-ing their wedding reception. Why am I telling you that? Because it means I won't be painting until next week. Now you know. Back in a bit!

True fact that is accurate and helpful information: This is the best way to protect your produce from rotting. It blocks the sun and also makes the fruit really cool.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Art Is Open to Interpretation

If the person that requested this flower doesn't respond when I email this picture to tell them their painting is done and ask where to mail it, I can always hang on to it until someone requests a pinwheel.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Bugs Have a Place in Art Heaven

Supposedly, Catholics believe heaven is for humans. Recently the Pope said, “Holy Scripture teaches us that the fulfillment of this wonderful design also affects everything around us.” Some people interpreted that as "Animals get into heaven!" So like, insects, too?

Monday, October 19, 2015

Deftones Drag

This is actually the same horse from the previous post. He just likes to dress a bit differently on the weekend.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

I Swear It Was Accidental, Mom

This is my interpretation of the Deftones "White Pony" album cover. "Riding the white pony" refers to using crystal methamphetamine. I didn't know that until after I painted this. Does that mean I created an interpretation of crystal meth without knowing it?

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Guessing on the Requesting

This Pokemon's name is Fennekin. The requester asked for me to paint her daughter's favorite pokemon, Finagan. Finagan is not a Pokemon species. I Googled a bit and guessed this is the one she actually meant. Parents, am I right?? Don't even know Pokemon names, jeez. This was a living example of "Pokemon According to My Dad". Anyway, it's still unconfirmed that I got the right one because her response was:
OMG... This is so amazing... I absolutely love this... Thank you so much, you will have made a 9 year olds day!!!!
So yeah it's certainly positive. But there's also certainly a chance I would get that response even if I sent her the completely wrong species. We shall never knowwwwwww... Unless she sees this post and comments on it or emails me or something whatever the internet is weird sorry for broadcasting my private contemplations.

Comfort Zone

This is a cyborg ninja from the game, Metal Gear Solid. The requester asked for it to be "cute-ified". I'm always psyched when people encourage me to head into the adorable. I'm especially concerned with video game characters because I stereotype and assume the requester is male and expect that he wants the subject to be manly and scary. Like when I painted the Shambler from Quake, I worried that I went overboard. It was fun to know I was allowed to go overboard with this guy.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Real Mutants Wear Pastel

It takes some serious muscles and anger management issues to be able to pull off purple pants. Well... it's more like he's ripping them off.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Good Luck Un-Hearing This

This guy's name is what someone with a lisp says to describe how their muscles feel when they work out a lot.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


The second painting in the series for my postwoman. The USPS should change their uniforms to something more like this.

Monday, October 12, 2015

I Make Lines on Canvas and in Post Offices

Ok, back to the daily painting! I would apologize for the lapse but I'm sure you appreciated the video enough to justify it ;)

I am friends with my postal carriers. Well, specifically the ones that work at the office nearest to my apartment. I go to them once a month, every month, with a stack of 30 or so packages. These packages are always identical, rigid, 12x12 manilla envelopes and they always incite an incredibly long line of annoyed post office patrons behind me.

Now, when I say I'm friends with my postal carriers, that doesn't mean they don't hate seeing me walk in the door. The main reason I'm friends with them is because I actively make it a point to be so they aren't as miserable about the giant monthly stacks of work I bring them. Since moving to LA, my postal carriers have started to recognize me and my on-going mailing habits but I haven't crossed into the friend level. UNTIL NOW!

This painting is for Sherry. And the following three paintings are also for Sherry. (Actually, Sherry's son.) She just recently took one of our usual chats to ask what was actually in all the packages she was inputting and labeling. I showed her my Instagram feed. She asked if I'd ever done any superheroes. I showed her dozens. She told me her son likes the Avengers. I am very excited for my next visit to the post office where four of the paintings will be sans-manilla envelope and handed directly to their new owner. And not just because I need to be friends with my postal carriers. I hope she really likes the series I made and I hope she has even more fun than I did handing them over when she gives them to her son.

Friday, October 9, 2015

It's Like a Blog Post But I'm Talking and Moving and Stuff

Hi! I missed posting the last two days. I'm suuuuuure you noticed. Anyway, it was because I've been working on the thing below! My first episode got a pretty darn good response so I made number two!

I guess I'm still going. So far. We shall see. [DEVIL EMOJI]

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Look at That Smug Smile. He Knows.

We get it, corgi. You are smaller and cuter than me. You're the same kind of threatening as a baby. Only worse because now you are clearly also more talented.

I Think Neil Strauss Is Under There

Medieval knights were definitely peacocking.

Monday, October 5, 2015

The Second Version Will Look Quite Different

I don't know what I'm going to do when I get a request for "Sting covering a Ray Charles song while dressed as a crab" because I already used the filename "stingraycrab.jpg" for this painting.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

People Are Original

It is ridiculously common for people to say, when they hear I'm an artist, "Oh really? I can't even draw a stick figure." Like, those exact words. I hear that all the time. I don't know what it is but people love telling artists that they can't draw stick figures. Despite the fact that I've heard it a very large number of times and am confident that I will continue to hear it from this moment on, I have yet to come up with something to say back. Ok, here are some options:

1) Neither can I.
2) Yeah, you have to pass that test at the end of art school.
3) I try to avoid body shaming my figures.
4) Picasso made a career on that.
5) I can't even... accounting?... I don't know. What do you do for a living?
6) Prove it.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Not Practical for Hiking Until You're Stuck In a Valley

If you had a pair of ruby slippers that could get you home from anywhere, would it be worth it to have that power any time? I mean, considering the fact that you'd have to look like a dope always wearing ruby slippers.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Technology Trouble

Usually my head is exploding in front of a computer and not the other way around.