Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Also Bad at Movie Theaters

i'm sorry but i must leave you until monday. i'm headed to vegas to play a couple of shows at the Rio this weekend! i'll be rocking and gambling instead of painting. you may wish me "good luck" or to "break a leg". both are applicable.

hates doorways.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

He Sees Humans When He Drinks

a painting of your drunken hallucination. if you stop drinking, he'll disappear. you don't want him to die, do you?? save the pink elephant!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Though I Don't Know Who the Father Is

this lucky penguin got to be on TV. CBS news came to my place and filmed him being born. (you can watch that here.) though i guess when you look at it that way, i have over 2,000 children. and i've given them all up for adoption.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A Smart Cat Could Probably Also Pull It Off

as a percussionist, i'm insulted to think that monkeys could do my job. but yeah, i guess most of the instruments in the pit basically involve just banging two things together.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I'm Also Thrilled to Realize I Have an Arch Enemy

bahahaha! one of my crowdfunding contributors requested a painting of my asshat illustration from my Power Hour battle video.

i guess now technically i've painted my arch enemy, Steve. i should hate that but i don't. i'm just thrilled this project has afforded me the fabulous opportunity to paint an ass with a hat on it.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Maybe This Warrior Lost a Bit of Leg in Battle

either that's warrior II or he's got one short and one long leg.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Better Than the Broken Bells

it's time for my yearly houseboat trip! this will be the fifth year in a row where i'll be on a lake, sans paint, for a weekend trip. i'll get back to daily arting when i return to shore :)

what kind of team name is the 76ers? maybe if this was a college team and the school only had math majors. can we also call them the 4x19ers? or the √5,776ers? i want to start a new nba franchise and call the team the 77ers because we're one better.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I'm Sure He Wouldn't Be Happy with My Analysis

seems to me that if you wanted to turn the word "wolf" feminine, you would change it to "wolverine".

Monday, July 15, 2013

Right Angles Are as Interesting as They Get

lots of people keep asking me why i don't play minecraft. well, this character's visual design isn't helping their cause.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Is There a Mrs. Pibb?

Mr. Pibb is a dude. Dr. Pepper, on the other hand, could be male or female.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Or Probably More Like Laying Around

i imagine if i was a dog in a two dog household, most of my time would be spent standing around trying to out-cute the other guy.

Friday, July 12, 2013

"Pink Pandas" Are The Skinny Ones. They're Light Red Pandas

when red pandas are fat, their peers make fun of them. getting called a "maroon panda" is harsh because that means you're the opposite of a light red panda.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Choose Your Own Adventure Painting

i forget what this request was so this is either Serenity, the spaceship from Firefly; an odd metallic, quadriplegic bird or a futuristic foosball figure wearing a crown

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Hyrule vs. Sewer

luckily i didn't have to depict a winner because i'm having trouble deciding. is this a question of human vs. turtle? sword vs. nunchucks? love of a girl vs. love of pizza?

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Free, Me and TV

CBS News in Pittsburgh did a feature on me!

When You Give a Panda Lots of Beer

the guy that requested this was inspired by his own performance at one of my Power Hour concerts. by the end of the show he was actually wearing my tips bucket on his head while he danced around. also, he's asian.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Daddy Is Also Less Cute

sure, this baby kraken is itty bitty and super cute. i still suggest you don't go near him because i hear his mommy will tear your ship in half.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The "K" Might Be Silent

when someone tells me they're going to night school, from then on i make sure i never do anything to anger them. i'd rather assume incorrectly than get stabbed with a lance.

Friday, July 5, 2013

He Has Great Form for a First Timer

the moment in this cat's existence right after he has made a terrible decision but right before he has realized said decision was so poor. this is clearly the fist time he's attempted a cannonball because he certainly will learn his lesson and never do it again. in fact, no other cats will do it either because the tale of the horror of "cannonball cat" will spread far and wide, stopping other cats from attempting this horrendous feat. the first and last cat cannonball ever.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Sorry, Left Handed Bikers

this motorcycle standing on it's own got me thinking about kickstands so i did some Googling. it seems they're usually on the left side. this probably came about because you traditionally mount a horse from the left side. that tradition exists because most people were right handed and had their sword hanging from their left leg. so today, your kickstand is on the left so you don't stab your bike.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Less Than, Greater Than

i've been a frequent guest on the NSFWshow podcast. i adore the hosts, Brian and Justin, and their fans. this painting is for Justin. Brian's will be coming up later and will also involve a <>. this is a symbol from their show that represents their Diamond Club fans.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Pug Shot

he's making that face because he just got arrested.