Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Monday, July 30, 2012

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Actually, It Was the Pig's Name

this is not a sandwich for bailey. this sandwich is named bailey.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Self Portraits Will Say "Not U"

from now on when people request portraits of themselves i'm going to paint this.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Well, Red Isn't Exactly Normal

back from my boat! and ironically, here's a painting of something i didn't see my whole trip: a normal flushing toilet.

i kept trying to write a caption with a play on words between the "red" toilet and (past tense) "read" magazines on said toilet. but i had trouble making it understandable because the present and past tense of "read" are spelled the same way. this is not the first time i've run into this issue.

i little while ago i was organizing my .pdfs into folders. one for the books i'd finished titled "read" and one for the books i hadn't finished titled "read". crap!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

This Post Gets to Hang Out at the Top for Longer Than Most

sorry i forgot to post yesterday! and this wasn't a good time to be forgetful because i'll be leaving this as my last post for several days. sorry again! (i'm assuming you're heartbroken.) i'm going on my fourth annual houseboat trip and won't be back until next week. until then you can look at this double double post. two apologies followed by two paintings.

the star is trying to act casual but he knows he's being watched.

his primary function is initiating "awwww" sequence from you.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Time to Break Into the Zoo

i really want to see a panda and a penguin riding a zebra.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Nashville Is Where They Manufacture Three Chords and the Truth

the part of the country where country happens.

People Jamming to My Jam on TV

MTV played my song on Real World last week! yep, you heard right. she said "I love this song!" while it was playing. yay!

and here it is on iTunes if you'd like to have it: I Want More - The Ego

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Crash My Party!

my new campaign to spread my Power Hour! and the campaign website is here. k now go tell everyone ever about it :)

Ali's Art Adventures: The Only Place on the Internet Where Flowers and a Microphone Can Be in the Same Post

sorry i forgot to post yesterday. i got distracted all day because i launched a big campaign related to my music. i'll post about it after this.

using my root word skills, i have deduced that this is a small phone.

these are sweet peas. after painting them i found out that's where the name "Swee'Pea" in Popeye came from. i always thought that name's origin was from some sort of sweet pea vegetable. or the multi-roomed hotel unit between O and Q. or the urine of someone that exclusively drinks pop.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dog Is Less Offensive Than Frog

this guy is a french bulldog. not to be confused with the rhyming (and probably racist) french frog.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Requester Tried to Sneak One By Without Me Noticing

you think this is just a harmless chicken painting. but wait! it's a PET PORTRAIT!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

I Want to Sick This Basilisk on That Hacker. Also the Yoga Girl Can Give Him a Good Face Kick

my site got hacked! i spent 12 hours yesterday fixing it. that would be why i'm posting yesterday's painting with today's. but as you can see, my fabulous coding talents have gotten everything clean and back up. it was a scary half of a day where the world couldn't access my art. screw you, hacker, for depriving the planet of my art adventures.

a painting of a tree. . . pose

the greek indiana jones is really scared of this guy.

Friday, July 6, 2012

When He Closes One Eye to Aim He Goes Blind

a cyclops' weapon of choice is always a club because arrows, guns and slingshots require depth perception.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Three Heads Are Confusinger Than One

this cerberus is the first of a commission of three greek mythology paintings. i wonder if his three heads ever disagree with each other. they clearly have to share food and each eat 1/3 of the usual amount because he only has one stomach. or does he? can one head sleep while the others stay awake? or would that not actually be rest for him? does each head have a different personality? which head controls what part of his body? i have so many questions. if any of my readers are cerberuses please get in touch because i'd love to get some information from you.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

A Cold One for the Holiday

happy fourth of july! here's a beer to celebrate. sorry it's made out of acrylic paint instead of beer.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

My Art Makes Reality Seem Less Adorable

i post one painting a day but occasionally i forget and don't do it until after midnight. i should really stop pointing it out when that happens.

here's a cat. i went with extra cute over more realism this time. i hope the requester isn't upset that her cat doesn't have giant eyes and fat stubby legs in real life.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Though Airdiscs Are a Less Practical Shape for Commercial Airlines to Adopt

why haven't humans made flying discs like this? why do we act like wingless flight is just for aliens?

Sunday, July 1, 2012

It Was in Rhinestones, Though

25 minutes late posting :\ sorry!

i think i saw this on an Ed Hardy t-shirt once.