Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Monday, April 27, 2015

Still Laughing Hysterically as I Write This



this is for my good friend, Stevie. when she gets coffee and the barista asks what her name is, she always says "Bob" because it's a shortened version of her last name and it's basically impossible for someone to screw that up. BASICALLY impossible. one time, a barista wrote "Pab" instead. we have not stopped hysterically laughing about it since. like, it's inappropriate how funny we think it is. we call each other Pab. we tell other people they're "being a Pab" when they're being unfun. we joke that we have a band called The Pabs. Stevie now intentionally tells baristas to write Pab. and every time it just gets funnier. i don't claim to understand why. but i do love it.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Don't Think. Just Eat.



i read once that having appetizers will actually make you put on weight more than if you don't. not because it's more food, because if you eat a little bit before your meal, your body recognizes food is coming and has time to raise your insulin levels. then when your next round of food arrives, your body is more efficient at packing on the pounds. this transfers to even just being exposed to food before you eat. seeing and thinking about food can raise your insulin levels. basically what i'm saying is this art will make you fat.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Act of Eating It Is Also Art



this is one of a series of two paintings of art. the next one will be a side of fries. yes, i think horribly unhealthy food is art.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Self Inflicted Desert



the requester asked me to use mardi gras colors for this. i think mardi gras is fantastic. it's a holiday built around binging. you have to be so hungover afterwards that it lasts for 40 days.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Stop It, Pineapples. Stop It Right Now.



last week, my friend showed me how pineapples grow. i now hate pineapples. seriously, go google image search "pineapples growing". it's so stupid. they're not on trees. they're, like, in the center of some stupid spiky plant thing. one at a time. it looks like what Dr. Seuss would draw if he made up the most ridiculous way for a fruit to grow. i'm so mad about it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Maybe My 8 Years of Practice Is Finally Paying Off



i really like how this painting turned out. i'm not even into soccer or anything but for some reason i had trouble parting with this one. i couldn't even tell you why. and i didn't do anything differently when creating it. but this one just feels richer and more iconic and dimensional and less fraught with errors than most of the rest. i don't know if that's me complimenting my own work or insulting the whole series.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

You Don't Necessarily Need Eyes to Stare



the lantern and the owl both have the same attitude. solemnly sitting and staring at you like you're invading their space.