Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Thursday, August 28, 2014

A Unicorn Has One Horsepower Plus a Hornpower

i'm headed to perform three shows at Dragon*Con this weekend! sorry, you'll have to wait until next week for my next painting. enjoy your labor day!

i wonder if unicorns are jealous of rams because they have double the hornpower.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Dating Time

this is chronos, the personification of time in pre-Socratic philosophy. not to be confused with father time, who looks similar. though both are totally trying to hook up with mother nature.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Maybe It's a Testament to His Neatness

this painting actually is a testament to a really good dry cleaner. look how white that outfit is when he's clearly constantly surrounded by splashing, clothes-staining substances.

His Chest May Be Cold But His Face Is Warm

my buddy is the fat, shirtless, unofficial mascot for Baltimore sports. he wanted a painting of his luchador mask as a sugar skull. his name is "carne cabeza," so represented here, he made out of sugar and meat simultaneously.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Friday, August 22, 2014

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Cyndi Lauper Is an Aggressive Editor

these were actually the original lyrics but it just didn't seem to fit the song as well.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Undeniable Evidence

for this one, i had to find a cool cursive typeface online, type out the statement and then reproduce it. initially i sketched it out in my own handwriting and it looked horrid. i actually feel like most of my artist friends have terrible handwriting. i'm going to pretend bad handwriting means you're creative... and smart... and a 10/10 on the hotness scale.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

This Art Is Going Straight to My Hips

this makes me crave a donut and takes away my guilt about it at the same time. can't tell if this art is evil or beautiful.

Monday, August 18, 2014

That Would Be Some Very Effective Art

today starts a series of six feminist paintings. i hope by the time i'm finished with them, women have equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Burdened by Brains

i'm traveling starting tomorrow through all next week! i'm performing at DEFCON and then visiting LA after that so i won't be posting. but i've got a really cool series request so you can look forward to six paintings that go together in a couple weeks.

owls always look angry. i've never seen a happy owl. i'm assuming this is because they're wise. ignorance is bliss.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Sunday, August 3, 2014

I Spend More Time with This Guy Than Any Human

there's a special place in my heart for outlets. there's one in my house that's weirdly high up from the ground. and he was behind me in my first video that got popular. and now he's my costar for a lot of videos and photos. and someone started tweeting as him. and now he's more popular than me.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Excited Art

this painting is thrilled to exist.

Friday, August 1, 2014

It Doesn't Help that I'm Blogging from a Coffee Shop

i'm typing this with one hand because this kid is making his fingers look so delicious, i had to give mine a try.