Thursday, June 10, 2010
History Thinks It's Too Good for The Flintstones
darn it, history. why do you have to be lame and truthful about the fact that humans weren't alive at the same time as dinosaurs? it's your fault a baby triceratops could never be my garbage disposal.
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Jeezum Crow i hate the freaking Flinstones with the fiery passion of a thousand blazing Bill Hicks. They were never funny ever. It's the same joke over and over again pushed on us for the last fifty ears. "What if we took a word and prefixed/suffixed it with the name of a rock! Hilarious!, Oops, i mean SLATELARIOUS! That's so funny i just peed a little."
No it's not; they're not funny. Even a little. And all their pop culture references are dated as hell, too. They have all the timelessness and relevance of the Shrek films.
And to combine those two sentiments, they once had a parody of Rock Hudson named Rock Hudstone. HIS NAME IS ALREADY ROCK! AND NO ONE HAS EVEN KNOWN WHO HE IS IN TWO GENERATIONS!
You know what i hated when i was a kid? All their showers and water faucets are mammoth snouts! You know what that means? They're constantly consuming and covered in elephant snot! Do you know what elephant snot tastes like? I don't either, but it's freaking gross.
Do you know how many Christmas specials do they have? A LOT. THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER! Jesus hated cave men, that's why he waited until they were all dead to be born and start saving souls, because he didn't want those hairy snot covered freaks stinking up heaven! If that giant headed no necked freak Fred Flinstone can be said to have a soul.
God I hate the freaking Flintstones. Your painting is too good for the subject.
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