Unloading My Art

this is my last post for over a week! i'm going to LA to play a show and meetings and a podcast and maybe another podcast and Vidcon. come see me there if you're going!



the guy that requested this didn't respond after i emailed him a picture to say it's finished and to get his address. now i have a painting of a cross with no one to take it. that's a tough one to pawn off on somebody, even when they ask for any subject i want to paint.

"here's this vague religious symbol! ok, i didn't really want to paint it. you're just getting someone's reject. or the result of a changed email address. or a message incorrectly marked as spam. really, any number of things could have gone wrong. so you get a cross."

Accuracy Is My Top Priority

this is the second painting titled "Companion Cube" in my gallery but it's actually the first companion cube i've ever painted. the other one is a Storage Cube that the requester named incorrectly in his email. i didn't realize it until after i had posted the painting and one of my coworkers pointed out the error. it's taken 6.5 years but now i've issued a correction on my blog.

Niche Art

this is a painting of the old United States Civi Defense logo for a self-proclaimed history nut that's also into emergency management. i guess this painting will resonate well with its target market of one.

No Longer 3/5 Mage

this character is a black mage. Final Fantasy IV is better at naming than Kingdom Hearts.

Took a Couple Proton Packs to Get Him in There

he looks so harmless. poor little ghosty trapped in that no symbol. also, i had to Google for the name of the "no symbol". it's also known as the prohibition sign, no sign, circle-backslash symbol, nay, or universal no.

Long Sleeves to Tank Top to Nothing

the younger you get in this family, the less clothes you have to wear.

Dad Had Me Paint the Things He Made and Married

half of this painting's genes came from the painting before it. the other half came from the guy that commissioned it.

A Family Affair

i won't be posting this weekend because i'm headed to play a show in New Hampshire. can't paint when i'm closing out an all-day music festival! woo!



this is a painting of a woman that created the subjects of the two paintings to follow. as in, i'm painting her kids next.

Probably Wouldn't Fit in at a Klan Meeting

this character is from the game, Kingdom Hearts. he's called a "White Mushroom". not trying to be racist but he doesn't look very white to me.

Pop Art with Perspective

i'm showing you the reference photo so you can see it's not a dog head with two tiny feet and a weird beehive hairdo.

These Are Not Rooms. Though They Could Possibly Be Slightly Mushy

all frogs come together over a mutual outrage that these are not called frogstools.

Like A Plate of Pretzel Rods at a Buffet

how the heck do giraffes exist? they seem like giant, extremely fragile lion meals. how are they not snapping in half just trying to live day to day let alone surviving in a world full of predators?

Important Problems to Be Solved

i eat the unpopped kernels even though they're unpleasant and could potentially destroy my teeth. i can't stop myself. the only solution is for science to completely eradicate the unpopped kernel. i want to be able to say to my niece in 2045, "in my day, we always had some annoying, hard little pieces in the bottom of the bag that never metamorphosed into popcorn." get on it, food scientists.

The Horse Probably Does Martial Arts, Too

as if the concept of a teenaged turtle that's mutated to the point of speaking and mastering martial arts isn't ridiculous enough, let's put him on a rocking horse.

Bigger Is Always Better

someone made better art than me about roberto clemente. it's huge and standing outside PNC Park in Pittsburgh. at least mine's more colorful.

Friendship is Magic. And Baffling

another brony request! if you're not familiar with the term, here's my explanation. the phenomenon is weird and confusing and awesome.

Now It Seems Like I Would Just Stare at a Fancy Dinner and Never Eat

this is a character from Game of Thrones. that show is in it's fourth season. i'm still on season two. it's not because i'm unenthusiastic about it. quite the opposite, actually. i love the show so much that i don't want to consume it because then it will be gone. i've not found anyone else that's expressed this type of sentiment about experiencing entertainment. perhaps i'm alone on this. wouldn't be the first time i was a weirdo. [one of many examples: see yesterday's post]

Eating Some as I Write This

this is the 7th request i've gotten for a self portrait. why is it of whipped cream? because i have a whipped cream problem. i eat whipped cream straight from a spoon. a lot. i do this so often that i have set a limit for myself of no more than one can a day. i buy cans around eight at a time. i'd say it's my only vice but then there's beer. one can is less than the calories in a candy bar so it's not that crazy of a habit. except it's not a candy bar. it's whipped cream by itself. (sometimes topped with whipped cream.) which nobody does. so that makes it a crazy habit. sometimes i think if i post to social media about it enough, it will become normal. it's not normal yet. anyway, i am a can of whipped cream.

He'd Have to Stay in the Elephant-Accessible Dorm

this is for a friend of mine. she wanted an elephant with an unorthodox pattern. i went with Tartan plaid since we both went to Carnegie Mellon University together. i mean, me and my friend, not me and the elephant.

When Can I Be a Space Painter?

i did an AMA on reddit about my Free Paintings a while ago. the whole thread is here if you wanted to check it out. and here's a relevant excerpt:

REDDITOR: If pressed and you had to go back to "normal" work, what kind of work would you choose?

ME: I'd be a space ballerina. I was a competitive dancer until I went to college and I absolutely loved it. Also, now that it's 2013, I feel like every profession should have "space" in front of it. So I'd be a space ballerina.

so the girl that requested this painting saw that and wanted a painting of my alternate profession!