Not Licking This Before I Mail It

good thing i'm posting this after i just had dinner. i have no standards when it comes to eating and i'm a terrible judge of what's good food. i think anything and everything is delicious. so if i was really hungry even a graphic depiction of mexican food isn't safe from my desires.

I Would Have Suggested They Spell It "Muuze"

this is the logo for the band "Muse". it's a super sweet name but they didn't care at all about SEO when they picked it. someone else even owns muse.com. come on! a band that doesn't obsess about their web presence? who wants to listen to that?! lucky for them they became a giant global success and got the top spot on google. or maybe they just have a good web developer.

Are There Varying Degrees of Vintage?

what happens when my art becomes vintage? then this will be a vintage painting of something vintage. something more vintage. vintager.

Merry Christmas!

oh man! what are the odds?? i didn't even move requests around to time this right!! this christmas tree request just happened to land on christmas day! how cool!!!

Radiooooo

i'm back from Baltimore! below is proof that i was on 98 Rock while i was there. i'm also throwing in a bonus clip from when i was on Mancow a few weeks ago. yay radio!

Gotta Go!

i'm playing a show in baltimore on friday and i just now got invited to be on 98 Rock radio for their morning show tomorrow! so that means a moved flight, frantic packing and no painting. sorry! i'll post again once i'm back from maryland!

Miracle Weight Loss Plan! No Counting Calories! No Working Out! Lose Pounds Fast!

she got sick of feeling like such a fatty with the name "thunder lizard" so she went to space. she's got no earth shattering stomp in zero g and there's certainly no thunderous sounds in the vacuum of space.

Alliteration Makes Amends for a Tardy Post

sorry, it's 54 minutes into wednesday and i just now remembered to post tuesday's painting. i give you: larry the little late lobster.

Inaccurate Flag

this is the flag for a place in the US that isn't Bear City. looks like a Bear City flag to me. or more like Bear Island. a tiny, tiny Bear Island that only has space to accommodate one bear at a time. also you can only see one star from Bear Island and Bear Island floats in mid air over lava. does that sound at all like california?!

holy crap wait. i almost clicked "submit" to publish this post and then i realized this flag may be more accurate than i first thought. isn't california supposed to break off and float into the pacific at some point? i imagine it will eventually end up being just an island fit to accommodate a single bear. good job, california flag designer in 1911! for over 100 years, california has been flying this impressive prediction of the future and i'm pretty sure they don't even know it.

He Must Be the Mascot for a Panda Sports Team called "The Humans"

the file name for this painting is "pandasuit.jpg". based on that, you'd think it's an image of a human in a panda suit. but it's not! it's a panda it a human suit.

I Bet Triceretops Were Good at This Sport, Too. Probably Three Times Better.

i'm not sure what he's doing. i guess i've been playing tennis wrong this whole time.

Trying to Read a Seriously Irreverent Mind

here is what the requester asked of me:

something related to "Seriously Irreverent".... am hoping to be able to launch this soon... so an awesome logo/painting would be epic....

hoping to "launch this soon"? what is "this"? ok whatever. i responded:

so you just want a "logo" for the phrase "seriously irreverent"?

and he said:

Yeah something logo-y ... Thank ya much...

so i painted this seriously irreverent face dude guy face. and when i sent the requester a picture of the finished painting he said:

Haha!.... So not what I was expecting, but I absolutely love it!

what?! so then what were you expecting? because i certainly had no clue. i don't know why i feel like i should have given him what he was expecting. looking back on this conversation just now, there was no way for me to know what that was. i'm just glad he still liked it.

but in all the confusion of figuring out what he wanted and wondering what his "this" is, i failed to let him know that my paintings are very different from logos. an artist retains the right to reproduce images of their work even if someone else owns the original piece. so that means if he wants to use a picture of this painting as a logo, on a t-shirt, or even just put up a picture online, he should pay me for the reproduction rights. (lots of my requesters don't understand that.) not that i really care unless his "this" gets super popular and lucrative. i have a feeling this guy would be seriously irreverent about copyright laws anyway. hah.

Art Typo Is Called a Painto

after i finished this one i got worried that the girl's name was actually "Hailey". luckily it was an unnecessary scare.

What If Someone Crosses Your Path While Holding the Painting?

does painting a black cat make the artwork unlucky?

Adorable Drunks

my friend Coleman was the hype man/DJ at one of my Power Hour Concerts. he wanted a painting of us to remember that amazing night. probably because he was blacked out.

Someone Walked Past Him in His Office and Didn't Even Notice a Human There

this painting is titled "side plank" but it isn't really a plank. it is a human pretending to be a plank.

I'm Coming Out of Your Radio (Possibly)

i won't be painting until next week because i'm flying to Chicago today. i'm going to be on Mancow Muller's radio show tomorrow. it's nationally syndicated so that means i'll be broadcast to 50 stations! i'm performing my awesome jam, "Synonyms for Drunk" for 4 million listeners. hopefully this Mancow fellow will keep me on for a chat as well. so if you're in one of those cities that plays his broadcast, turn on your radio and i will come out of it.

I Need a Shield to Protect Me from Trademark Lawsuits

this request was for the upenn shield with it's usual white dots replaced with google placemarks. i hope upenn doesn't get mad at me for messing with their brand.

Haha! Now You Can't Unsee It

no, this is not a map of south america with brazil highlighted. this is a yellow sea creature eating a green sea creature. hah!

Ali's Free Paintings: Making Anything Look Adorable Since 2007

i was asked to paint this "trashy-looking, beat up RV". i think i gave it a little too much cute and not nearly enough trash. of course, this was an intentional fail on my part. it's totally better this way.

They Like to Bowl, Though

what? this is silly. lions don't play football. their claws would pop the ball.

Contacts Are Way Better for Solo Jamming

i don't know how he's doing this because it's always super uncomfortable for me to wear glasses with over-ear headphones.

Partying Not Painting

in an unprecedented bit of foresight, i'm giving you tomorrow's painting today! i do believe this is the first time i've ever posted early. my brother is getting married tomorrow. (i think i'll probably go.) so i will be busy with my four favorite things tomorrow instead of painting. what are those four favorite things, you ask?

1. dancing
2. open bars
3. cake
4. family

(yes, that is by order of importance.) so in anticipation of all those awesome things, i present you with a preemptive painting!



it's the marriage fairy come to give my brother and his fiancée an extra-special first marriage

Art, Art, Art, FREE!

i should paint two more ducks for the next two days followed by a goose.

Last Looks Left

sorry! i'm a bit late posting this. hopefully getting to see all four paintings in the series together makes up for that.



i put this one last so it's like she's looking back at all the rest of her buddies.

Nonprofits, Free Art

here's the third of my orangutan series. i havent't mentioned yet, they're all getting donated to Orangutan Outreach. check out the slideshow on that site to see if you can match up the painting with the orangutan that inspired it.