Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

This Painting Gets Any Woman It Wants and Can Fly

this shirt is pretty famous. please read it's reviews on amazon. i am honored to have painted it.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Hurricanes Hate Art

i missed posting all weekend and it's irene's fault. i had to travel to a wedding which meant driving directly into a hurricane. though the wedding happened and everyone was fine, the internet was not. i had no way of showing you art in the storm. so here are saturday's and sunday's. and today's!

his name is Usagi Yojimbo (兎用心棒) which means "rabbit bodyguard" in japanese. i want a rabbit bodyguard! sure, bodyguards keep you safe. but are they adorable and fuzzy? rabbit bodyguards are!

a painting of sat fat.

more like "goodbye kitty" after she pumps you full of lead.

Friday, August 26, 2011

The Art Says a Lot About the Artist

this is a painting of a knife. i just threw in the other two things so you didn't think i was some psycho.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Cute That Causes Terror

this is for a guy who didn't want something "too terribly cute". haha i like the idea of my paintings being "terribly cute".

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pickup Games with His Brother's Dogs

this is what eric staal's dog secretly does while eric is at practice

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Art Has Many Sides

i painted the pens logo on the other side of this coin. you just can't see it.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Or a Tree

this is a cup of coffee with foam that depicts a mushroom cloud. it could also be a kidney. or the letter "c".

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Samantha's Out on the Prowl Again

little known fact: the women from sex and the city actually all became friends because they have an important trait in common. they're werewolves. it's just not apparent in the show because no episode has taken place on the night of a full moon.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Condiment Stadium

i think the seats in heinz field should be red. like it's filled with ketchup.

Friday, August 19, 2011

You Have to Legally Change Your Name to Enroll

this is the mascot for elizabethtown college. i assume all people that live in this town are named elizabeth.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Triple Crazy

it's been exactly three years and one day since i painted my last fishbowl. wow, crazy! crazy because of the weird timing. crazy because i've been doing free paintings for that long. and crazy that no one requested a fish bowl for that whole time.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Art Breaks Gender Stereotypes

this fairy was requested for a six year old boy by his mother. she said, "He is a boy but loves pink sparkly things." hooray for not conforming, kid! and hooray for being accepting of your son, mom!

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Sketch with a Painting

this request is based on this hilarious sketch. i won't try to comment because it's too funny to for me to compete. enjoy:

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Like That Monkey Writing Shakespeare

crazy coincidence that i did a día de los muertos painting right after a halloween one. if i paint long enough, i will almost surely paint every holiday. in order.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Brainstorming Being Someone Else for a Day

oooo this one is getting me excited about halloween. of course i think about my costume all year but it really ramps up in these next two months. i like dressing up so much, i'd say i wish every day could be halloween. but i put so much mental effort into my costumes that i couldn't keep it up every day.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Orientation Effects Meaning

i have mentioned a few times that a lot of my paintings can be hung rotated/upside down. that concept is a little more consequential with this painting. i have a good idea of how the requester is going to hang it. it would be funny if the painting changed hands over it's lifetime and ended up with an owner of opposite views that hung it differently.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Food That Refuses to Fill My Stomach

no matter what volume of sushi i eat. it is an appetizer. i will always finish my sushi hungrier than when i started. i do believe if i sat on a toilet with an endless supply of sushi in front of me, i could stay there eating, nonstop, forever.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Point Is...I'm Late

are you kidding me?? one minute late. ok well. here's point state park in pittsburgh. i've done it before but i did the opposite side this time. that's all. i'm still bitter about just missing the cutoff for it being yesterday.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

These Paintings Have No Home But at Least They Have Each Other

i usually have a bunch of paintings in progress at one time and so i was working on this one at the same time as yesterday's. check out how lovely they look together.

i see the first one as an extension of starry night that moves it into abstract.

though neither of their requesters responded when i told them their free paintings were done and emailed them a photo :( this has been happening a lot lately because my wait list is so long. it's now over a year before i get to a request. stop changing your email addresses, people! i think i'm going to have to start confirming that my requesters still exist, have the same email address and want the same painting before i create them.

anyway, anyone want two paintings that are loosely related and go well together?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Creating a Scam of This Magnitude Would Be Harder Than My Actual Project

every time someone wrote about their free painting online, i made a note of it. i've collected a decent amount of links for the three years i've worked on this project so i decided to add a page on my site for them. hopefully that will give my new visitors some reassurance that my project isn't some crappy scam. it would have to be a very elaborate scam.

I Mean Unrestricted, Not Drunk

i was asked to paint to this music. cool, an excuse to get loose.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

I Didn't Know It Was That Easy to Take One Down

this requires some explanation. this painting is actually for a friend of mine. (yes, i don't just paint for strangers.) here's his description:

At work we use a web server called "Unicorn". The name kind of makes sense because you manage many 'legs' (threads) with a single 'horn' (process)... Anyway, I realized today that the process of updating our code involves us running a command which is literally "kill unicorn". It would be awesome to have a painting I can hang over my desk that reads "every time you deploy a unicorn dies", with an appropriate picture of course :D.

so there you go. my friend's company kills unicorns.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Blowhole Inquiries

yes, i am fully aware that air, not water, comes out a whale's blowhole so please keep that question in your brain.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Ignorance Is Cute

i had heard that the name "kangaroo" came from english explorers asking natives, "what are these animals?" the natives' response was, "kangaroo," which means, "i don't understand you." reading wikipedia has ruined that cute little story because it says that's actually not true. though the story's not completely ruined because who can fully trust wikipedia, anyway? in the back of my head i can keep thinking wikipedia is inaccurate about the inaccuracy of that story.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

An Olive the Size of My Head

a little late posting today. well...yesterday. sorry about that!

the sword is actually life sized.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Answer Is "Yes"

again a bike lacking in spokes. stylized? or lazy? my kid could do that? or a genius' abstraction?

A Trailer for the Power Hour Album

i used my motion graphics skills to make my music skills seem cooler. doesn't it make you want to drink? or buy my album? well the album isn't available yet. so drink until the release!