Marge Simpson Is a Cattail

sideshow bob as a tree.

A Famous Pair in Formal Wear

sorry i missed posting yesterday. i shall now make it up to you with posting two today.



this is the "no" sign over specifically a linux logo. the requester is anti-linux, not anti-penguins. actually, it is indeterminate whether or not said requester dislikes penguins.




even though this was requested a long time ago (as is the case with most of my paintings), it is surprisingly topical. the movie "my week with marilyn" just came out. "smash", a show about a musical featuring marilyn, is on tv right now. nicki minaj just put out a song called "marilyn monroe". marilyn is so hot right now. and now she's a free painting.

This Chevy Is a Foreign Car!

this request came from a guy in germany. apparently they have mullets over there, too.

Crazy Video of a Crazy Night

i played a Power Hour Drinking Game Concert this past weekend. if you were there, and drunk, this is how it went:

My Paintings : Art :: Jingles : Music

i strive to make my art as catchy as lady gaga's music.

Sentient Flowers

a while ago i painted a commission based on the book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. as you can see in the painting below, there's a bowl of petunias thinking "Oh no, not again". well, today's painting is that same bowl of petunias featured by itself. yes, petunias. i've painted you saying "not again" again.

All You(r Other Painting) Need(s) Is Love

this would go well hung above my past "Love Gun" painting.




or look! the keepons are in love with each other!




and mike wazowski is in love with you!




monkey is confused by love.



zebra is in love with love.



flying squirrel is about to fall in love.

Mystery Solved with Science

cal state fullerton's mascot is the "titan". cal state fullerton's website claims "there is confusion" as to what a "titan" is. time for me to step in and help.

the university of alabama's mascot is an elephant that represents algae. cal state fullerton's mascot is also an elephant. through the transitive property, i have discovered a titan is algae. you're welcome, cal state fullerton.

A Painting from a Carnival Day and a Recovery Day

sorry i skipped yesterday. i got distracted by all my friends visiting for CMU's Carnival! in past years i didn't paint at all so forgetting to post isn't so bad by comparison.



she can fly.




she fakes being able to fly.

Maybe It Will Someohow Get Larger in the Mail

everything's bigger in texas. except my paintings. they're always 12x12".

Vat a Cwazy Misunderstanding

the "dodge viper" is actually supposed to be a utility vehicle suitable for taking to a cottage or cabin for spring cleaning. everyone thinks its a sports car because the creative director at the car company had a speech impediment and couldn't pronounce "lodge wiper".

Parade of Elephants

nine elephants total, now? i think it's time for a recap of all previous elephants!

Bass Bass

i want someone to request a bass (fish) playing a bass (instrument).

Verbs! Animals!

don't badger me. i can't bear it.

Or Are They Called "Felixi"?

this is felix the cat. as opposed to all the other types of felixes out there.

I Wonder If Campbell's Soup Ever Commented on Andy Warhol's Blog

i got a request to paint BlankTV's logo. a year and a half later, one of their employees left a comment on my free paintings site saying:

Wow! Nice work! If this one is still available, we’d love it for the wall of the BlankTV office!
Hope all’s well!
Smitty
BlankTV

so i painted them another one just for being awesome. and for not bringing up some bs copyright issue.

The Brightest Warmest Thing Around

the requester asked for something abstract with bright, warm colors. so she gets an abstract sun. this abstract art came from a very literal interpretation.

The Only Thing Stopping This From Being the Coolest Job on the Planet Is the Fact That It's in Space

that looks SO. COOL. what are we still doing hanging out on this planet? it's not like anyone's really taking care of it and i want to feel zero gravity!

We Should Try Three Sets of Wings

two sets of wings are better than one. why do commercial jets only have one set of wings? don't the airlines care about our safety?

Go, Algae!

this is for the team known as the alabama crimson tide. crimson tide is where a bunch of algae in water on the coast makes it looks red. alabama felt the best mascot to represent that phenomenon was an elephant. ya know, the big african (or asian) land mammal. crimson tide = elephant. yep.

also, this looks like i made a joke painting that's saying "'A' is for elephant". i find this hilarious and it makes me want to do a 26-painting series of a prank alphabet. a kangaroo behind the letter B. a zebra behind the letter C. a pig behind the letter D. seriously, i find this really funny. i think because i imagine it would cause a mix of confusion and anger which is a hilarious combination.

The Birds and the Bees. . . Can Do Things We Can't

"when i grow up i want to fly, just like you, daddy."

"i've got some bad news for you, kiddo."

I Can't Believe My Original Suggestion Didn't Catch On

have you ever seen the easter bunny? no? no one has. because it's actually a platypus. . . ok it's been four years and the easter dino hasn't taken off so here's a shot at the easter platypus.

Poorly Named

ron weasley has no weasel qualities. just like Jackson Brown is a white dude, anyone named Smith probably doesn't have a career in metal working, Gerard Butler certainly isn't a manservant for anyone, Elijah Wood is a carbon based life form and Lyndon B. Johnson wasn't a d***.

This Day and Painting Are High Quality

i should have posted this one on palm sunday because it's a palm tree. i guess it's ok that i posted it on good friday because it's good.

Alienating a Huge Market

this is some star wars thing or something.

. . . nerds hate me right now.

no.

Words and a Monkey

the room owner has a name this time. wouldn't it be crazy if the original one went to someone named niko, too? ok, not crazy. . . weird? ok, not weird. . . a mildly interesting coincidence.

JK!!! GOT YOU!

APRIL FOOLS!! as if you thought my post yesterday claiming to be ceasing my free paintings project was for real. (i'm sure the use of capitalization to clued you in that something was up haha) yeah, i'm still painting, people. here are two to make up for my prank yesterday.



a guy got a bunnybee for his girlfriend about half a year ago. the girlfriend then commissioned this wormbean painting for him in return. this relationship is more sickeningly cute than my paintings.




this requester asked me to replicate a past painting exactly. before i realized i could at least change the background, it was really dragon me down. hah!