Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Not Getting Wet Is a Motivator

he's a really good sailor because he hates water so much.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Two Penguins Were Harmed During the Making of This Painting

professional penguins on a closed course. do not try this at home.

Get Smashed with Me!

come to my power hour drinking game concert next week! i'll be playing 60 one-minute songs at Diesel in Pittsburgh and the audience will be drinking 60 shots! it's the CD release party for The Power Hour Album. check out more info about the event on facebook.

Friday, Dec. 9th
The Power Hour Album CD release party
Diesel Club Lounge Pittsburgh, PA
$5 cover
Doors open at 9:00 - The first shot is at 10:00

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dumb Question and a Dumb Pun

the holiday weekend made me forget to post so here are two today.

the giraffe is scared all the time. and the panda speaks very straightforwardly. get it? yellow. black and white. hah!

is the helmet law for all primates or just homo sapiens?

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Head of the Household Is Exactly the Same Throughout All Time

here's homer simpson drinking a beer. no wait, it's peter griffin. . . . er, ralph kramden?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

You Don't Even Have to Be Doing a Power Hour, Though It's Recommended.

it's the biggest drinking night of the year. you should drunk text me while you're out partying! check out The 27th Shot website for more info.

Tomorrow I Have No Work and Get to Eat a Lot!

here's some coral reef. . . yep. . . mmm hmm. . . you know what. it's bon jovi friday. i am completely checked out.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

Money Made of Free Paintings

a guy i know who is awesome/nerdy wrote a computer program to create mosaics out of all my free paintings! i suggested something money related to be ironic and he chose euros because they're colorful. look how cool it turned out!

The Other Other White Meat

ad design for a rabbit steak company.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Things We Do For Fashion

this season's hot look: purple tie with aviators. also, no head.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Naked Ones Need to Be Extra Careful with That Open Flame

this could be a series. just a bunch of famous statues drankin' and smokin'.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Some Musicians

i hear they're a big deal. though i've painted them an equal number of times as jesus.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011


noooo! three minutes late to post. too bad i can't be whisked away back in time to yesterday. hah!

whisk. what a weird word. whisk. you most definitely have to say it with the "h". whisk. hee hee.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Vikings Are Above the Rules

that rule about not running with scissors should also include axes.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Meta Free

this is a free painting of a character from a free video game.

Friday, November 11, 2011

You Sunk My Side Dish

this is how giant sea creatures play with their food.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Meme Coincidence

this is a cat eating spaghetti. i thought the request was a reference to this amazing meme:

but it was not. it is merely a request from a guy for his girlfriend who likes cats and spaghetti. she also likes oreos as you can see by the side dish.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

More Than Three Objects Means the Requester Has No Emotional Connection

back from vegas! back to painting!

that's the genie from aladdin driving a stagecoach pulled by a herd of yodas chasing a viking robot riding a rainbow-trailed unicorn. i suspect this was not requested because someone actually wanted it. it was merely made as absurd as possible for the sake of being absurd. also, it's in space.