Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Thursday, January 17, 2013

So Much Huge

today is a huge day.

today is the day i fully commit to pursuing my dreams. yesterday i attended my final work meeting. i took the plunge and left my safe career to pursue music. i'm now officially a full time musician! (slash artist, of course)

today is the day of a huge announcement about something i've been working hard on for 3-years. the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board has finally reached a ruling in my "power hour" legal battle!

today is the day i launch my crowdfunding campaign to take my show on tour. i'm going to create a global party.

today is also the day i don't have a painting for you. sorry! i've been so busy with all these things, i got a bit behind on painting. but fear not! i just need a few of days to launch all this business and then i'll get back on track with arting for you.

now, check out this video for more details on all the things that today is:

then, check out my Freedom Victory Tour campaign to get in on the party!

sure, you're a little bummed that, today, you don't have an adorable painting to look at accompanied by a hilarious caption to read. but you can just go ahead an fill your time with contributing to my campaign instead. and then fill more time by telling everyone you know about it. hooray! and thanks for your support ;)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Some Things Just Can't Five

this is a pterodactyl and a penguin high fiving. well i failed at the request because it's a high three from the pterodactyl and a high one from the penguin.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Smear Hazard

zebras make it a point not to run too quickly so they don't turn into grey horses.

Monday, January 14, 2013

I Just Do What I'm Told

i... i don't know what's going on here. trees live on earth and books are made out of trees and this tree looks like it wants me to read to it.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

High and Happy

he has to jump out of the water to smile or he'll get a mouth full of salt water.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

By "Versus" They Actually Mean "Doing"

pirates versus ninjas. who would win in a fight? well based on the look of these two i think it may sound like fighting when they're together at night but i don't think that's what they're doing.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Subtitles are Tough

a character in the movie "Fifth Element" has this tattooed on her wrist. i haven't seen the movie. but i have heard it. lots of times when i'm painting i'll put a movie on and never look up at it. i've heard a lot of movies. i actually can't remember the last time i just sat and watched one. i can't handle it. my brain refuses to unitask now.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Not What You Thought

the monkey is trying out his new area rug before he commits to making it.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Rage Painting

i hope i get requests for all the rage comics!

Monday, January 7, 2013

A Toot and a Flush

sorry i missed posting yesterday. i didn't have a computer. it was in the "shop" because i got a new one. yay! now my posting will be super speedy with my hugely improved computing power! you will see no difference.

this musician doesn't have ears. wait, weird. penguins don't have ears. why don't penguins have ears? ostriches don't either. neither did dodo birds. using science, i've discovered that you must have ears in order for your wings to work.

i love painting toilets. i've only done a few. two white ones, a red one and a port-a-potty. also some toilet paper. i'm still waiting on an outhouse and a urinal request. i think it's pretty funny to make fine art about bodily functions.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


moose should be an onomatopoeia for the sound moose make. moose, get with it. start saying your own name cause it would be cool.

well, i just googled "moose sounds" and found out that a low, rumbling "moose" is pretty much what they sound like. sweet! now to get the noun "cat" changed to "meow".

Friday, January 4, 2013

Batman, Don't Go on Local News

this sugar skull is painted for and based on the famous and mysterious carne cabeza. well he's mildly famous and not actually mysterious because that news segment reveals his secret identity. maybe that's why he's a skull now. he lost the safety of his mild mannered alter ego.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Free Paintings Are Social

i decided to finally put my free paintings on facebook and twitter. hooray! two new ways to get digitally fed my art awesomeness. please go like and follow!

Iron Not-So-Giant

i had to make him shorter and squatter to fit better on a square canvas. so this is the iron giant as a kid.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Last Date's Gift Was a Sock. It Didn't Make It to Her

he's waiting for his date. he's having a tough time not eating his nanny's gift before she gets there.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Lucky Doesn't Mean Delicious

here's a cupcake to celebrate the new year! it's lucky because it's pork and sauerkraut flavored.