Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


i painted stripes on them because the request was for tabby cats. don't read any further if you don't want me to completely ruin this painting for you.

after looking at this for a while, i see tire marks.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Squirrel Is Junkie. Frog Is Dope.

at first glance you may think this is a picture of a squirrel hugging a frog. it is actually a picture of a squirrel-frog battle where the squirrel is trying to get high and the frog is trying to not get licked.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Social Networking Birds

owls refuse to use twitter. they don't tweet. they say, "who."

Friday, February 24, 2012

None Dopier

i don't know how this guy turned out so dopey looking. he's the epitome of dopey. i wish i could take credit for that but it just happened.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Sure Hope This Post Reaches the Right Person

i got a request to paint this referee logo dude [shown below] and when i emailed the person back to say her painting was done, the email address no longer existed. now i have a painting of some logo with an origin that will always be a mystery. always.

enter reverse image search! welcome to the future. it's awesome here. i just uploaded the image and technology gave me answers. i found out this an old logo for something called Comedy Sportz. so thanks to internet innovation, i can make this offer:

anyone involved in Comedy Sports, please get in touch with me. i have a painting i'd like to give you for free.

ahhh, that was great. or was it? ok maybe the future isn't that awesome. nope. still awesome.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

He Eats One Bag Per Meal

this painting doesn't give a good depiction of scale. this guy is fenrir, a monstrous wolf from from Norse mythology. if i'd have put a person in the painting, his head would come up to fenrir's neck. and he'd be holding a warehouse sized bag of kibble.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Monday, February 20, 2012

So Many Greens

this requester said his kids wanted a green kitty. "We can't find one anywhere and they all ask for a green kitty for some odd reason." it makes me happy that i could make this weird thing a reality for them. unless they wanted a kitty that was jealous. then i did it wrong. or a kitty that's inexperienced. or one that's good for the environment.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Frankenstein Faux Pas

technically this guy isn't frankenstein. he's frankenstein's monster. you've been introducing him incorrectly at cocktail parties this whole time!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Next Time, Leave Off the Weird Head Hump

this type of fish does not exit in nature. not that it was imagined by this artist for a painting. it's a man-made hybrid called a flowerhorn cichlid. humans created them and keep them in tanks.

Friday, February 17, 2012

But I Wouldn't Trust Anyone That Wears Running Shoes with Jeans

i didn't know you could take ferrets for walks. i mean, if you trust a picture some stranger sent me on the internet, you can take ferrets for walks.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Homes on Their Back

these guys are the turtles of the sea. no wait, that would be sea turtles.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Everyone Knows a Walking Crow Is Wasted

i'm back from my weekend vacation! did you miss me?

don't drink and fly.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Blame Mrs. Spags If You Miss Me This Weekend

no painting until next week! i'm going on vacation with the fam. and my mommy would be sad if i had to cut out of our hangout time to go paint and blog. so, i'll be back soon!

Cupcakes Kill

the new logo for atkins.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Not What You Expected!

strawberry and pistachio...are the animal's names.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Wii Should Go Back to Being Lazy

remember when video games didn't mean getting up and prancing around your living room?

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Definitely Safe. I Wouldn't Mess with Him

this is from Homestar Runner. one of the characters, Strong Bad, has a wooden cutout of a bear on its hind legs holding a shark above its head. he uses it for security purposes.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

I've Never Done It

apparently hitting the side of one of these things is a simple task.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Though They Kept It a Fat Dog

the washinton huskies. their mascot used to be a fat kid but they changed it because a dog is cooler than an overweight little boy.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I'm Good at Marketing

pringles' slogan was "once you pop, you can't stop". for me, this was actually the case. there was something crack-like in them to make me keep eating. then, i believe, they changed their formula. or, an explanation which reflects well on me, i grew up and matured. well, since i have an apartment full of toys, a cupboard dedicated solely to different flavors of candy corn and i too often eat ice cream for dinner, we can probably assume i shouldn't be considered a mature adult. so pringles are different now. the slogan should be "once you pop, you will not have a difficult decision deciding whether or not to stop".

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Pancakes (Upgrade 2.0)

i painted some pancakes with syrup vessels built into them. also i made them square so they can sit side by side with full plate coverage.