Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Monday, February 28, 2011

We Both Have Forty Thieves

i'm back! time for painting number 1,385.

i've always liked alligators cause of my name. that's also the reason i think i'm the greatest.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Bye for a Bit

i'll be traveling on vacation followed by a business trip starting tomorrow so i won't be painting until the week after next. while i'm gone you can entertain yourself by looking at the 1,384 paintings i've done in the past. really, i just wanted to write that number so i'll feel less bad about missing over a week of paintings. i hear that one deserves a break after one does something 1,384 times.

Unless We're Talking About Universities

after twelve turtles, a red-eared slider, a space turtle, a turtle holding a truck and a turtle in a bathtub i decided to go with a different color. this is the first time brown has ever been the exciting choice.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Maybe She Meant for Me to Make Him Look Sad

this request was for a blue tree frog. tree frogs are green. but who am i to let realism get in the way of pleasing my patrons?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Should Have Invented Them a Better Name, Though

i'm surprised this is the first seahorse request i've gotten. these things are so whimsical crazy looking and they fit my painting style well. it's almost like someone made them up. i wish i would have. then i could say, "i invented seahorses." i'm sure that makes you a hit at parties.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

1, 2, 3, ART!

this means rock. unless you're playing rock, paper, scissors. then it means you don't know how to play.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I'm Recording a New Power Hour Album!

a while ago i wrote about how i needed help to SAVE THE POWER HOUR. i got an awesome response and it was amazing to have so much support. thanks everyone!! the legal battle isn't over yet but i'm going to keep fighting. i've also decided to release another CD that I plan on proudly naming with the term Power Hour. hah!

below are three preview tracks from the new album and you can read more about it here.

so look for the brand new drinking CD coming out later this year

He's Gonna Feel Sluggish All Day

prairie dog, that is not a balance breakfast.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Looks Like Her Arms Are on the Way Out Too

the stress of a monarchy can cause hair loss. also, face loss.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

This Is as Publicly as I Can Announce Something

last time i painted an oreo i talked about how hydrox was created first but is commonly believed to be the knockoff. i'm using this opportunity to bring it up again because i feel i need to call attention to this atrocity. tell everyone you know!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Which Came First the Milk or the Chocolate Sandwich Cookie?

today is milk. tomorrow will be oreos. they go together. i painted milk first because oreos are NOTHING without milk. and not the other way around.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Put the Hoof to the Metal

this is what happens at night when farmers leave the keys in the ignition.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Return of the Fish

i've been painting a lot of fish requests lately because about a year ago i got posted on a fish enthusiast blog. back then i painted for a bunch of people that donated and got moved up the list. i'm just now getting to the ones that sent requests without money. patience or dough. pick one and you'll get some art!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


this is an image depicting what it's not.

Monday, February 7, 2011

That Horse Is Smart Enough to Talk Because It's Before the Flood

i blame the steelers for the fact that i was distracted and didn't post yesterday. but they can blame me for jinxing them.

how was it decided which two animals of every species got to go on the boat? i bet all the productive, hard working, intelligent animals were still out in the wild. these jokers that got on the boat were just the lazy ones that thought they were going on a cruise. all animals just may be descended from slacker ancestors.

this is one of the poor genius animals that didn't get a cruise ticket.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Pouty Lips and a Fivehead

if tyra banks were a fish she'd be a frontosa.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Thursday, February 3, 2011

This Is the First Time They've Ever Been Written Together in One Sentence

what's the opposite of "leather jacket". i do believe the correct answer to that is "flamingo". yes. flamingo is the antithesis of leather jacket. and here they are together.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Tomorrow Will Be a German Pit Dog

yesterday was a french bulldog and today is an american pit bull. two dogs in a row that involve nationalities and bulls? i would call this a coincidence but it's probably just that the dog breed namers should have been more creative.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011