What Do You Ali?

his name is a verb. sweet. i want "ali" to be an action, too. and i'd want it to go something like this:

ali: (AH-lee) v. alied, aliing, alis [originating from the personality traits of the contradictory artist Ali Spagnola]
1. to love and hate something simultaneously.
2. to like something and feel anger for doing so.
3. to dislike something and feel regret for doing so.
Example: "Google is so powerful and possibly evil but not evil and does wonderful things for my life and probably has complete control over the world. I really ali that company."

He Feels the Same Way About Me

it's a shame dinosaurs aren't alive today. this guy looks delicious.

Or This One Just Happened to Be Upside Down

this series would have been far more amusing if i just never painted the spring version and never mentioned why not. or if this was another pet portrait but titled "Mishra's Factory (Spring)".

Mishra's Factory Is Manned by Nerds and It Manufactures Intelligence and Social Awkwardness

didn't post again for the same reason. luckily my mom decided to have a birthday today so i'm in my hometown visiting her and borrowing the net. thanks mom. happy birthday :)



another version of this magic card. i guess this factory lives in a climate that has distinct seasons. otherwise there'd be four versions that are exactly the same.



this series is actually for one of my coworkers who is an official magic judge. yep, the company i work for is a nerdfest. and its awesome.

Frankie, Bob, Tommy and Nick?

this is a graphic from a card in the game magic. this type of card comes in four seasons. guess what my next three paintings are going to be!

A Tenet of Being a Pirate Is Bad Luck with Bodily Parts That Come In Pairs

something really bad must have happened on this gentleman's left side. or maybe the hook was first and that took out the eye. then the poor eyesight jeopardized the leg.

Also, The Water Is on Fire

i should have given this guy a black background to show he has to jump from ice float to ice float because of BP.

J. K. Rowling Was Going to Use It But It Was Taken

this is called the "star of life". if you'd have told me that name before i knew what it meant i would have thought it was something out of harry potter or star trek. emergency medical services just doesn't seem like the type of thing that would have a name that sounds magical/extraterrestrial.

Or Dirt

i was asked to paint "something representative of raising 5 young children as a single parent." i guess that makes mommy the gardener. or pot.

Also My Battery Is Dying

another "good" excuse for skipping posting. i don't have internet at my new apartment yet. the reason i'm able to post today is because i'm currently sitting on the curb with my laptop in front of a closed restaurant that has free wifi.



i can't really think of anything to say about this painting and i don't want to sit and think about it because it's hot and the street is dirty and cars are driving past really close to my face.



and the restaurant that was closed behind me is now opening and the guy setting up the outdoor seating thinks i'm a weirdo.

QUETZAL?!

no excuses. just bad at having a blog yesterday. but today i'm twice as good at it!



if i could create a new form of punctuation it certainly wouldn't be just combining two other types. i'd want to make some type of punctuation that would denote what i'm saying is not to be taken directly. not that it would mean i was sarcastically saying the opposite of what i wrote. just that what i was writing should not be interpreted as exactly straightforward.

according to wikipedia, some people have used a variety "sarcasm marks" such as ¡, ؟, [!], ~ and <sarcasm></sarcasm>.

haha i like the nerd HTML option. of course if i actually started using a sarcasm mark i'd be putting it with 99% of my statements. i'd probably be better off making a mark that denotes sincerity and using that when needed.




this is a quetzal. scientists have hypothesized that it was the final creature to have come into existence. visual evidence suggests that god had many different colors of creation play-doh and squished together the final scraps when designing this bird. the name was also made with the remains of left over letters.

Almost Doesn't Make Sense

majesty snowbird? i guess he's missing a crown. but wait...birds don't have teeth. wow, now i'm making puns on top of puns.

The Dragon Thinks I'm Funny

there's more than one way to get dragon milk. find a cow with really short legs.

This Is So Cool I'm Not Even Going to Charge Royalties

a guy that calls himself Painting Tasters just recorded a cover of track eight, Double Fisting, from The Power Hour Album! friggin' sweet. yep, i feel like a big deal.

At Least I Didn't Say It Was My Third Grandma's Birthday This Year

i didn't paint all weekend because i was moving into my new apartment. now i know that sounds like a load of uncreative bull because i just used that excuse but i swear it's true! not that it matters. i guess we could just pretend i said, "SCREW ART! I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN." on friday and by today i decided, "man, what really would give my life fulfillment would be to create an image of a peace sign." actually, now i really want to paint a screw.



this is not a screw.

History Thinks It's Too Good for The Flintstones

darn it, history. why do you have to be lame and truthful about the fact that humans weren't alive at the same time as dinosaurs? it's your fault a baby triceratops could never be my garbage disposal.

Bad Postal Worker! Also, Bad Pun

i heard a couple of days ago from one of my requesters that he found his painting folded up and stuffed into his mailbox. i'm going to send him another, of course but holy crap. i used to put "do not bend" on every painting. i stopped bothering a long time ago because i figured no postal worker would be dumb enough to actually try and bend something so substantial as a canvas board. well, i hope this one gets snapped in half during delivery. then my art will be record breaking.

This Request Was Probably Sent Before Liking on Facebook Even Existed

the request was for "a thumbs up painted. Nothing specific...Just something with a thumbs up!" in this crazy, digital-social world, i thought a piece of artwork immortalizing the facebook like would be perfect. well, i'm pretty sure this was immortalized before i had anything to do with it. i mean, it's an icon...(PUN!) it's kind of similar to my loading painting i created a while ago. i think it's funny to see such a familiar image put in this unusual context. maybe i should do a series of really well known web icon-y things. any commissioners interested?

This Dude Should Look Less Thrilled About The Poison Hanging Above Him

darn it. this is too cute. i'm really not doing my part to get the word out about how these aren't as great as advertised.

Though He's Not Related to the Other Huge Success Rockefellers

this is a guy, Boston Rockefeller, riding Virgin Galactic like a horse. let's overlook the fact that this dude wanted me to depict him in this fashion and focus on his name. sounds fake doesn't it? because it is. well, not fake. he is in the process of having it changed right now. this dude is going to be a huge success. with a name like that you cannot fail. that name is only second to Max Power in the guarantee of success department. if Boston Rockefeller wants to recreate this painting in real life i'm sure he can make it happen.

Everyone Stop Thinking That Putting Two Words Together Is Clever and Adorable!

a guy requested i make him a painting that's the opposite of cute. i didn't know how to paint a portmanteau so i just went with a completely different style from my usual.

Were You Even Trying on the Grass?!

this photo is ten times cooler than the painting. i guess i need to work on painting a small depth of field. well, i bet they're both many times cooler than the actual dog. heh heh....just kidding, requester. now go frame a print of the photo instead of the painting. or frame your dog. whatever.

This Requester's Got a Big Imagination

i'm pretty sure this is a made up team. wasn't this "atlanta" city supposedly underwater? and the sport is "football" that's played with your HANDS? clearly a tall tale.

Neutral and Octave Clefs Don't Count

have i painted every clef yet? yes? ok, well i guess i'll still keep going.

Maybe I Would Have If People Didn't Send Repeat Requests

have i painted every breed yet? no? ok i guess i'll keep going.