Japanese and German in One Day

i completely flaked on posting yesterday. aaand... i just noticed that there's a snowFLAKE in today's painting. hah!



snowflake enlarged to show texture.




this is the final painting in my Munich gates series. i hope they build more so the guy that commissioned them has to keep supporting me.

I Should Have Sent a Bonus Portrait With This Series

the second of the three gates of munich. unless you're counting when Bill visits.

Also Helpful If One Painting Looks Crappy

i was commissioned to paint Munich's three gates. that was also when i found out munich has three gates. good information because if you can't get through this one, you know there are two other options.

Plus, The Groom Means There Are Male Hens?

these newlyweds are based on the delaware fightin' blue hens mascot. they look more like lovers than fighters.

A Noun and a Verb

a pet you can't pet.

Or a Wild Ride

would make a square meal.

And a Delicious One at That

he's looking at you like you're a fly.

They're Fast. I'm Slow.

it took me until right now to realize that the red letters spell out "first". i guess they must be good at racing.

As Long as His Frolic Didn't Cross My Path

i like to think of this as an all black cat that had a frolic in cool whip.

Too Cute for His Own Good

not sure how those horns could actually be used as weapons. he'd have to really drop his head but then his big nose would get in the way. and how are those wings going to keep him up? it turns out dragons aren't mythical, they're just extinct because they couldn't evolve effectively.

Perhaps the Mediumest

surprisingly, not the biggest ass i've ever painted.

Dogs Don't Understand What Van Morrison Was Singing About

she's a black lab. but don't tell her that not all of her is black.

Red Solo Cup and Redhead Silly Clown

sorry i skipped another day! guess i'll have to accept the fact that i just put up two double posts in a row.



almost as cool as red Shot Glass USB.




he went though some serious hand and nose augmentation surgery for his career. the feet are all natural, though.

A Tired Post

i most definitely forgot to post yesterday. i was working on this all day. and all night. and then all day again. so i need to sleep. but not before i show you two paintings!



this is a yorkshire terrier. my family had a yorkie. his name was korky. still trying to get my brother to name his daugher Denise.




her lipstick is green. you just can't tell.

I Hear the Bee Also Has Some Impressive Knees

this cat has some snazzy pajamas.

Pay Attention. This Will Be on the Exam

this is a black-capped chickadee. which is different from the carolina chickadee. which still has a black cap. there's a chickadee with a brown cap but he's called a boreal chickadee, not a brown-capped chickadee. there's a chestnut-backed chickadee with... guess what... a chestnut back. but still a black cap. also there's a grey-headed chickadee with... guess what... NO GREY ON ITS HEAD. and there's a mountain chickadee which, i assume, eats only mountains. and the mexican chickadee who [redacted due to racism].

Acrylic Lights

this request included that he wanted the aurora borealis in the background. i haven't ever seen it but i get the feeling i didn't do it justice.

These Boys Blow It Up

John Belushi and Albert Einstein. one invented the atomic bomb and one invented the mouth-full-of-mashed-potatoes zit bomb.

Safety First

you have to wear a helmet to look at this art.

A Horn Section

he can play a major triad by himself!

Plus I Do Too Many Different Things, Thereby Diluting My Brand

this is my logo. kinda. it's actually a designer's nightmare. a logo is supposed to look exactly the same every time. i've really messed with my brand. now people aren't going to be able to recognize who i am. i'm fired.

Name and Surname; Subject and Verb

this is Bill Hicks. his name is what you do when you work the cash register of a pickup truck repair shop.

Should Have Painted Him on Clear

the ice is looking a little yellow today.

Making Words into Images

this request was from a woman who's having a book published with these characters. she'd better not include this in the book or i'll have broken my promise.

End Credit Art

he wanted me to make him look like a director. i could have painted his name in white using a sensible, sans-serif font on a black background.