What a Weird Series

tomorrow's painting will be AverageIdleHESITATE! followed by InferiorRestingSTOP!

His Email Had Lots of Spelling and Grammatical Errors

bizarro is a mirror image and antagonist to superman. he was cloned from superman but because superman isn't human, the clone turned out..."special". well this special little guy found my website and requested a free painting portrait of himself. he asked me to put him in a spiderman t-shirt. i guess because he's a comic book fan.

I Hope October Isn't Too Cold This Year

i like his outfit. maybe i'll dress up as a snowman for halloween this year. i wonder if people will know what i am when i wear nothing but a top hat and scarf to parties.

I'm a Pro at Interpreting Bear-Duck Body Language

the bear is the dominant one in this relationship because his hand is on top. also because he has fangs.

Maybe Throw in a Little Fire Breathing, Too

a guy wanted me to paint him as a pegasus. it wasn't until the painting was done and i had to create a filename for the photo that i realized this wasn't just a pegasus. this is a half pegasus, half human which makes it a pegasus centaur. he should have asked for a horn on his head to add in unicorn and create a trifecta of crazyawesome.

Just Out of the Humidor

he's sniffing it like a fine cigar.

Seated Hygiene

this painting is inaccurate because pandas like to brush their teeth sitting down.

Mr. Mistoffelees, Skimbleshanks, Grizabella and Rumpelteazer

i believe this is the cover of the playbill from cats.

So Revolutionary That I Didn't Know What It Was

wikipedia says:

The transistor is the fundamental building block of modern electronic devices, and is ubiquitous in modern electronic systems. Following its release in the early 1950s the transistor revolutionized the field of electronics.

revolutionary. i can't believe i've only been asked to paint it once.

Dolls for Boys

destro might be threatening until you realize he's only 12 inches tall.

Until Someone Requests the Same Thing

this fire-head, balloon girl is on the cover of the album "On Letting Go" by the band Circa Survive. i don't know if i did it justice because the album illustration is really gorgeous. well, according to the band's sales there are over 51,000 copies of that illustration. at least this painting's got "one and only" going for it.

Everyone Should Get the Call Once a Day

duty. hee hee! this painting needs yesterday's painting for after the call of duty.

Needs a Side of Eggs

the orange background makes it seem more like halloween night ammo.

My Art Won't Make You Dumber

this painting is more entertaining than 90% of what's on television. i suggest you stare at this for 30 minutes rather than anything on MTV. except Jersey Shore. now that's entertainment! just kidding. but not really.

This Guy Is Dangerous

ahh!! run! he could kill someone with that second hand smoke!

One Quarter Finished

i'm past the 15 song mark on my daily music video releases! if you haven't been following the 60 Days of Drinking, i'm releasing a new live video for one of my 60 power hour songs every day and writing about it. make sure you haven't missed any by using the photo montage of me doing stupid things below!

Cheese

the reference image for this [below] belongs on a dog version of awkwardfamilyphotos.com.



i don't know why this little portrait is happening on a black backdrop but i made an improvement to it.

Realistic Imaginary Character

this is a character from "masters of the universe". the requester asked for more realism than my usual cartoonish style hence there are no black lines and a more voluminous look.

Blood Is Required for All Vertebrates and Flaming Weaponry

someone requested a "fire sword (blood optional)". i say, "blood necessary!"

I Didn't Set Up a Still Life for This One

i'm imagining this in real life. like, a real heart. maybe it's a cow's so it's slightly less offensive. and it's floating through the air held up by enough helium balloons to support it. dripping. the strings precariously wrapped around flesh. good thing i made it cute.

That's Deep

the three things in this painting are nowhere in the title. they are just devices to suggest the title.

The Next Photo Isn't So Calm

lion's thoughts: just take the photo so i can eat
giraffe's thoughts: just take the photo so i can run

Next Comes a Bonk on the Head

the bat seems like it's looking down looming over the ball while the ball is looking away unsuspectingly.

I Always Wear Mine to the Bar

helmets ensure safe drinking.

Tomorrow I'll Probably Think It's a Glove Again

when i painted this i was going for a baseball glove. but now it's looking more like a baseball mitt.

French Guys are Hot

is he single? because i'm looking to marry into royalty. plus he'll have to say yes because he won't find anyone else shorter than him.

And the Kangaroo Plans on Eating the Shark

strangely enough, the shark's name is Skippy and the kangaroo's name is Jaws.

People Like My Handwriting

what the heck? i've gotten six paintings with text on them in the past 3 weeks. and the guy that wanted Kanye Gay Fish asked me to write "Motha F****** Gay Fish" on it after i had finished. i usually do everything the requester asks. this was the first time i really just put my foot down and decided i wouldn't create exactly what he wanted because:

1) i'm uncomfortable having an un-bleeped f word in my gallery
2) i was already done with the painting
3) i don't like having text on my free paintings

this project already makes me feel like i'm making dorm posters or cheap crafts similar to door hangers or greeting cards. and somehow adding text seems to magnify that feeling for me. anyway, i'm sure jenny 'n' nathan are in love with each other and with this painting and they will be together forever and it was important that i write their names out. at least it isn't a pet portrait.

Influential Artwork

this is the last of the three kitchen paintings. i wonder if they'll subconsciously influence the owner to cook with more peppers, garlic and cheese.

Adding More Senses to My Art

the guy that wanted "pepper on a cutting board" decided he needed two more commissions for his kitchen. this garlic is the first of those. i feel like the painting should smell like what it's depicting. maybe i'll rub it with garlic before i mail it.

Every Painting for this Whole Year Has Been About Me

this one goes with yesterday's. my friend wanted a couple of paintings about me so she also requested a pair of mismatched shoes in black and gold. they're black and gold because i'm from pittsburgh and they're mismatched because i've been mismatching my shoes for 7 years now. yes, that's right. every time i buy shoes i get two pairs of the same kind in different colors. i'm quite glad my career is in an industry where i can continue to do this into my young professional-hood.