Drunk Painting Is Drunk

Sarah's second part of her sober/drunk diptych. And I just now realized her drunk painting depicts alcohol in it. She's an artistic genius.

I Hope This Experiment Doesn't Make You Want to Do What Stewie's Doing

Ok, today's post is a big deal. This is the FIRST TIME IN FREE PAINTINGS HISTORY that I'm having a guest painter. That's right. If you missed the most recent Free Paintings video, I arted with my YouTuber friend, Sarah Croce. So this and the following masterpieces are hers. I hope you like this little shakeup. I may even do it again in the future!

Arted Under the Influence

Had to skip a couple posts this weekend because I was traveling. Two shows back-to-back! One in SF on Saturday and then LA on Sunday!



Here's the drunkenly-painted counterpart to Calvin. Can you tell a difference?

Calvin Is Thinking Hard About This

Well if you watched my video from yesterday, you've already seen this guy. But not this professional-art-documentation photograph of him. Oh wait, you have to get paid to do something before it's professional.

The First Free Paintings Collab!

Sorry I had such a lapse! NextUp was really darn cool. And since then I've had a chaotic couple of weeks with interneting and making music and stuff. So I'm making it up to you with a big video in my Free Paintings series! I teamed up with my YouTuber buddy, Sarah Croce, for my first ever guest star in the Free Paintings project!! I hope you like :)

A (Hopefully) Good Reason for This Lapse

No, I haven't been laying at a pool for weeks. I got accepted as one of the creators in this year's NextUp! I'm spending the week doing 12-hour days at the YouTube Space LA. It's seriously cutting into my painting but will also seriously improve my videos. So I hope you'll understand :) I'll be back posting again once I've graduated!

A Balloon for Partying Next Week

I'm heading out of town on vacation next week so I'm not going to be posting for a bit. Even artists deserve a spring break, right?



Hopefully this guy won't be deflated by the time I get back.

Who's More Evolved?

There are a possible eight thumbs up that could happen here.

Fishy Friends

I thought this was kind of a weird combo to be painting together. After opening both these animal's Wikipedia pages, I realized they have similar diets. Not exactly the same, but close enough that they can be buddies. Like an Atkins guy talking to a Paleo gal about meal planning.

It's All in the Details

The final Battlestar Galactica painting for Patrick. What he doesn't know is that I painted him piloting the ship so it's also a portrait!

Some People on the Internet Are Real

Battlestar Galactica painting number two for Patrick. I'm usually painting for strangers but with these, I had the pleasure of painting for someone I've met as an actual human person in real life because he came to my last concert in LA!

Saying Thanks with a Series

This is one of three Battlestar Galactica paintings for one of my top-tier Patreon team members. He's been a huge supporter for a while now (Not just monetarily but positive internet vibes, too) so I figured he deserved a whole series. And three days of shoutouts on here. Hi, Patrick!

I'm About to Make You Roar With Laughter

This painting has a lion as the mane character.

Size Does Not Matter

This is my depiction of an alien. Would you be scared if you came across this? I think it would be affected by how big he is. Like, if your head came up to the top of one of his tentacles then, yeah. Scared. If he was the size of a quarter and you could step on him, maybe not. But then I'd expect there to be tons more at that size. So a swarm of quarter-sized, purple, one-eyed aliens that completely obscures the couch you're sitting on as they crawl over each other towards you... Ok, scared again.

Unnatural

I kinda felt weird painting a squirrel on pink. Like, they'd naturally be hanging out in green trees. Or against blue sky. But what has this squirrel gotten into that he's surrounded by pink?

Video of Video Game Art

Today's painting was featured in my Free Paintings video series! Watch my impressionistic Yoshi come to life below.

Fitting Flapping Free Flag

Good thing it's flapping in just the right way, otherwise it wouldn't fit on the canvas

Four Years of Art School Totally Taught Me Colors

I titled this a Pink Elephant (actually the third one I've painted), but he's really not exactly pink. More like a dark salmon. But a painting titled Salmon Elephant should probably be some weird, half-fish, trunked creature, right? Oh goodness, no one request that, please.

Next Time I'll Paint a Bar of Soap

This bird has crappier SEO than the skincare brand. Like, significantly crappier. You have to scroll halfway down page two before you get to a link about birds. Jeez, step up your metadata game, white pigeons.

Her and Everyone Else That Does This

I know this is one painting. But it's certainly much more work than a portrait of just one dog. I wouldn't say that X number of subjects in a painting equals X times the amount of effort. But it certainly errs closer to the latter. I guess what I'm saying is, I hope this requester appreciates that I juggled four jpegs for her and crammed four characters in the space I usually fit one.

The Advanced Version Is Coke

This woman asked for something that will make her feel productive and motivated so I painted her what does that for me.

Rex Helped Move It

He likes to keep it on his nose but I had him move it to pose for my painting because it's a better composition there.

Post-Party Flights Home Are Always a Challenge

This takes some serious talent because his wings are imbalanced.

Maybe Rex Helped

I have no idea how he got that tied around his neck.

The Hats Are All the Same, Obviously, Because They're at the Same Party

This is the first of four dinosaurs with balloons and party hats. My friend only asked for one but like, there are so many different types of dinosaurs and so many different colors of balloons. I couldn't help myself.

Three Terribly Popular Terrible Things

This painting is for the guy in the center but it was requested by his friend. When I read the first sentence of his request email asking for a portrait with Garfield, a Minion and the catchphrase from The Big Bang Theory, I thought, "Oh yeah. Those things are very popular and of course he'd want them all together." I mean, I've painted Garfield and Minions before and I watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory because there was so much buzz about it. Then I read the second sentence of his request email which stated, "These are the three things this man despises most in this world." And then I realized, "Oh yeah. Those things are not just very popular but also very terrible." Garfield: You only need to make one joke about Monday and we get it, not thousands. Minions: Merchandise with those little, yellow, irritating characters has taken over every aspect of American life in a very disturbing way. The Big Bang Theory: The reason I watched AN episode is because I couldn't get past the first. I feel weird writing these things because I know just how much people love them. I mean, my earlier Garfield painting was for a friend of mine who adores the comic. I'm impressed the soon-owner of this painting is able to assert his distaste for such well-loved things to the point where his friend decided he needs a painting surrounded by them. I'm pretty sure I would be friends with that guy in the center.

Not All Dogs

Gah! I had a crazy busy day yesterday. So I forgot to get to my laptop to post. If you want to see just how busy I am you can check out my life-vlogging on Snapchat. Search and add "alispagnola". Lots of times I'll show paintings in process, too.



This is a great example of why stereotyping is harmful. Sure, men are physically stronger than women... as a whole. But some women have lots more strength than the usual. And some men have lots less. I know plenty of women that could beat up plenty of men.




Just like this cat could eat this dog in one bite.

My Art Is Educational

I legitimately had no idea what a succulent was until this painting. I would have guessed it was an insult created by middle schoolers.

I've Painted a Burger, Though

I can't believe this is the first cactus request I've gotten in over 8 years of doing this project. I guess I don't have a lot of fans that are kangaroo rats. (They eat cacti, if you didn't get that.) And now I'm surprised I've never gotten any kangaroo rat requests. Dang, those guys are cute.

NoSleeveface

Ok, I took three weeks off. Did you notice? Hah. Well things have been crazy with my career but I'm back on the arting game now! And I have a new Free Paintings YouTube video coming up soon to make up for my lapse. So stay tuned :)



This is for my good friend Max, aka: Max No Sleeves. On the day I gave it to him, he was wearing a red sleeveless shirt. It resulted in the mind-blowingly epic photo below. It's funny because this is super similar to the internet phenomenon known as "Sleeveface" (go Google image search it because it's awesome), yet Max is known for never wearing sleeves.

And Also It's Not a Series

It's similar to my Three Penguins series only it's not penguins. It's some sort of long-necked, spotted, horse things.

How to Speak Brooklyn

"Ay-oh oh-ay" -Tony Micelli

No Room for Dwarfs

This would be different had I painted it prior to 2006.

This Art Appeals to a Very Select Group

Now I really want to know how many Emmas were born on December 19th, 2007.

My Creativity Is Being Tested By Volume

I was going to go off about about how I never thought redheads actually have red hair, that it always seemed orange to me. Then I realized I've been doing this too long.

My Two-Wheeled Vehicle Runs on Human Food

I painted a bicycle for lazy people.

I'm Surprised We Still Use Headphone Technology

This request was for a green-background version of a painting I did seven and a half years ago. DANG. I've been doing this a long time.

Bear Brunching and Bird Businessing

Ah! Yesterday was super busy for me, in the out-of-my-house-appointments-not-working-at-my-laptop sense. So yesterday's painting is going up today.



Sometimes I eat leaning over the sink, like every normal bachelor. Pandas eat sitting down. They know how to live.




You always see owls in graduation outfits. But what happens after that? They get white-collar jobs with their degrees.

Veggies Eating Veggies

He looks lost in that broccoli forest. He might have to eat his way out. Would that make him a cannibal?

The Rowers in Windy Areas Have Smaller Arms

I was thinking I painted this unintelligently because there is a sail AND a paddle. Then I remembered I based it on actual images of viking ships. So why are there two power options? Do they use them together? Is rowing just a backup for times when there's a lack of wind? All vikings that read my blog, please inform me.

This Just Turned Into Fan Art

This is my portrait of the internet genius, Leslie Hall. She likes to say she presents herself in "strangely glamorous and unflattering ways" which is about the coolest thing I've ever heard. She's weird online for a living and went to art school and is hilarious and now I'm thinking this sentence could be about me and now I've convinced myself I totally want to meet her.

On America's Hand

This is the city right below the thumb.

Death Now Has Speed

2,900 people are killed by hippos annually in Africa. 1 person is killed each year in the US and fewer than 6 worldwide are killed by sharks. So yeah. This cute little guy is way deadlier than a shark. And I gave him a motorbike. OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE!

Pig Dropped Some Whiskey in His

Does alcohol tolerance vary species to species? It seems like a drinking contest would be unfair when one of them has hollow bones and the other is made of ham.

I'm Forgetting the Background

This is a dog painted in the colors that a dog can see.

Orange You Disappointed in Me?

I just now realized I should have made the margarita yellow. He definitely likes banana flavored drinks best.

No Cheeks or Thumbs

How is he keeping that on his eye? Wait, how did he get it there in the first place?

Finger Motions Are Precious

Remember when I told you to click on the painting to see the photograph I painted from? Well I'm feeling less lazy today so here you go. No need to waste your time on a whole click. Though you still should because there's another hilarious caption on the next page. And also click subscribe on all platforms and donate and watch every one of my YouTube videos. Anyway, here's a dog in a hat.