I Will Now Bring Forth Today's Painting

i made sure to paint this in one quarter of the time it would have taken to paint a whole rest.

A City in Four Squares. Not to Be Confused with Foursquare

this is the last one of my chicago skyline series. you can see it all together below. or by driving to illinois.

Yonic Is Gaining Momentum

that diamond shaped building is the Smurfit-Stone Building. also known as the "vagina building".

female anatomy: 1
male anatomy: every other skyscraper ever built

My Readers Are Psychics

the next segment of skyline. did you picture it correctly?

Chicago and Someone Holding Chicago

sorry i forgot to post yesterday! here are yesterday's and today's.



this is the first 1/4th of a chicago skyline series. do i even need to post the rest? you already have a good idea of what the next three days are going to look like.



this is also a painting of chicago. along with the rest of the planet.

The Product of a Rabbit Mother and an Egg Father

as promised: happy easter! this guy looks like an egg AND a bunny at the same time so it's exceptionally appropriate.

All The Colors Have the Exact Same Value

sorry i'm a bit late. happy easter! but i'll tell you that again on today's post.



this is a rainbow wolf on a rainbow background. as viewed by a wolf.

That Means Take Your Bike

happy earth day! don't kill walruses.

The Brown Bear Thinks You're Better Off Just Not Having a Mouth

after i painted this one, the requester asked me to repaint the panda's face to give him a smile. i did so because i always want to please my "customers". but i'm posting a picture of the original version because her calling attention to the panda's face made me realize i liked it. he's quite humorous. even in the photo he looks funny. but some people like to sacrifice humor for likability. i am not one of those people.

Didn't I See That Happen in Alice in Wonderland?

sunflowers are the bullies of the flower world. they're so much bigger and more imposing. they can boss around the other flowers and get whatever they want.

Playing and Partying Instead of Posting

its CARNIVAL!!! if you've been reading my blog since i started you'll know that i don't post during this celebratory weekend. see you next week!

Thanks for Letting Me Give You My Money

thanks, steve jobs, for always wearing the same thing making it easy to caricature you. also, thanks for my macbook. and iPod. and iPhone.

Now They Have to Stay Together for the Painting

instead of just painting this one, i emailed omar to make sure omar and gabriel were still omar and gabriel. that was the case. so they got their painting. of course i didn't say "hey, just checking to see if your relationship failed in the last year". but this one is way more specific than the standard "two animals in love" request so i definitely needed to confirm the painting would still be wanted. i should have asked this girl if she planed on changing her email address before i painted hers.

Imagine How They'd Thrive on War

these lilies don't need sunlight or water or soil or even roots because they are surviving on peace.

Pop Art Is Not His Natural Habitat

this guy looks like he totally doesn't want to be in a painting. he's about to jump off and get out of it.

Yep, It's Actually a Thing That Happens

this guy would make a good stuffed animal. i mean, not the actual dog. i don't want to kill this dog and stuff it if that's what you're thinking. aaaannd now i have to google "pet taxidermy".

the results were satisfying.

My Truss Rod's Bigger Than Your Truss Rod

i imagine "shut your sound hole" is an insult among guitars.

Gnome Pun Intended

what's up, gnomey? or was that a misgnomer? do you prefer gnomeboy? i have gnome idea. but heaven gnomes i want to get the gnomenclature right.

Or Should I Say, 1X cooler

having an "x" in your name makes you 10 times cooler.

A Minnesotan Minnesota

i was asked to paint "whatever you think is Minnesotan". nothing says Minnesota to me like an outline of Minnesota.

Time to Play the Pop Art Hidden Picture Game

can you find all the hidden objects in the picture?

Team "Framers of the Constitution" Was Their Second Name Choice If the First Was Taken

he wears number 2 on team "The Founding Fathers".

Or a Mythical Land Inhabited by Greek Gods

the scientific name for calla lilies is Zantedeschia. that sounds like an album name from the eighties.

"Harley Davidson Sissy" Is a Legit Search Query

pretty sweet sissy bar. and i'm surprised that's the term for it. even Harley-Davidson uses it.

Just Because They Didn't Make It Doesn't Mean You Won't Like Them

i've had a series of bad luck occurrences with my songwriting lately so i figured compile them into on place for the world to see.

a while ago, Regis and Kelly hosted a contest to write their new theme song. they ended up canceling the contest but only after i composed the song. then just recently the exact same thing happened with another contest to write the song that the Pittsburgh Pirates play after every home game win. i also just recently wrote a song for a pop musician in London. he ended up leaving the manager that had me write the song so he never got to record it. boo too all of these. the failed songs are below for your listening pleasure.

Too Much For You
Pirates Win Song
Regis and Kelly Theme

I Also Painted It as a Mirror Reflection But That's Harder to Tell

ha! i painted this one completely upside down! and there's nothing the requester can do about it. from now on, i'm painting every pet portrait like this.


yep, that's the best april fools' thing i could come up with.