Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Friday, November 30, 2012

I Should Have Put The User Interface Elements in the Painting

this requester has an iPhone, a plan with AT&T and an alarm set. also, she probably has a pet chihuahua.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

DEAL! On an Awesome Thing You Need!

i've decided to try a limited time deal for my Shot Glass USBs. i'm working with to give you my album/game/gadget for the insanely low price of $19.99. yay!

this awesome thing is:
  • my 4th studio album. (60 catchy, danceable one-minute songs by yours truly)
  • a reusable USB drive (hreat for the office)
  • a shot glass (also great for the office! And parties. And church...)
  • a drinking game (huaranteed to take you from 0 to 60 in one hour)
  • a lanyard (stylish and drunk-proof)
i'm quite proud of my creation but not too proud to give it to you cheaply. the holidays are coming and you're gong to need a bunch for your friends. and a bunch for you. get 'em NOW while you can pay me less for them :)

Or I Could Have Painted a Penguin on a Butt

this painting is titled "Penguin On Moon". i didn't call it "Penguin On The Moon" because i'm not sure if it's our moon or some other planet's moon. "our moon" meaning the moon that belongs to us earth inhabitants. i mean, i guess it doesn't belong to us. it belongs to earth, maybe? earth's moon. anyway, it's probably not earth's moon because it's so darn small. or that's one GIANT penguin.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A No Sweat Pants Policy Is Grounds for Quitting

this dog is dressed more professionally than me. by far. and i'm sitting in my office at work.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Identity Crisis

what happens when you put something other than a fish in a fishbowl?

Monday, November 26, 2012

He's Listening to Wiegenlied: Guten Abend, gute Nacht, Op. 49, No. 4

the headphones fall off and the owl flies away when it becomes a crescent moon.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Future Me Might Think This Post Is Silly

i listened to my past self's advice and watched the first episode of dr. who while i painted this. the former me would be proud of present me.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Even the Name Is Trippy

this is a nudibranch. these creatures are proof that god drops acid.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Making Art People Like Is Basically Gambling

this is my first skull on purple. that's because it's the first time i've painted a skull for a requester that i'm friends with and that's a female. mostly in life i try to avoid assumptions and stereotypes in general and of course about gender but when it comes to fulfilling free painting requests, i don't ever take chances with giving purple to a dude that asked for a skull. i know i'm being sexist assuming a male that wants a skull wouldn't like purple but i'm willing to judge based on cultural assumptions and play the odds when it comes to pleasing a stranger.

Thursday, November 22, 2012


a musician buddy of mine, Ben Landis, wanted a painting so i took some inspiration from his Adventures in Pixels album. check it out because it's pretty cool. he made illustrations to go along with each track. they're all done with black outlines so i figured i would change up from my usual style so as not to cramp his.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I'm Going to Start Wearing This Uniform Every Day

i was asked to paint a heroic donkey. this donkey has a superhero's cape, a knight's sword and a policeman's hat. triple hero!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Three Paintings, a Video and a Live Podcast

sorry i flaked for two days in a row! i certainly think excuses are lame. but i'm telling you my reason anyway because you may be interested. i'm performing on the NSFWshow podcast tonight (yay!) and they asked for an original song (whoa!). they also gave me four days notice about it (gah!). so working like crazy on that all weekend made me forget to post my paintings. in case you'd like to hear the new song, it can be found right here. and you can watch me tonight at 10:00pm right here.

i was given the amazing challenge of en-cute-ifying. the image below. 'twas quite fun.

this unicorn is pretty happy and gay. which is redundant to say about a unicorn. also he looks to be the other kind of gay. that, too, may be redundant. perhaps that's why they became extinct.

there are two paws in this photo. and one hand.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Pretty Much an Onomatopoeia

the name thistle is absolutely perfect. sounds like touching something prickly.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Clever Interpretations Probably Result in Disappointed Requesters

this requester asked me to paint bubbles. . . no, not really. she asked for perrier. but i wish she had requested bubbles because then i would be clever.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Is Mixing Up Gender an Insult to Dogs?

this is ed and sally. shh! please don't tell them i can't tell who is who.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I Just Paint What They Tell Me

this kind of doesn't make sense. if the person is dead, then then angel would be hanging out with him, right? or did the person go to hell so the angel won't see him again. or maybe the angel is the person that's died. he's morning his own death.

Monday, November 12, 2012

New Life Plan

thank you, south korean requester, for calling my attention to things that i needed to know exist. this video and song are awesome. why am i not a member of this "Girls' Generation" group?! i'm just going to move to south korea and sneak into the band. there are like fifty of them. no one will notice.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Feathers in the Mud

i'm assuming the saying, "when pigs fly," came about because it was originally prefaced by, "a dove will get it on with a pig."

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Lazy or Branding?

carl sagan, according to my in-depth research (read: Google image search), wore a light brown blazer over a turtle neck. like, all the friggin' time. that fact has made it easy for me to caricature him. this ease of caricaturization has happened to me in this past. i think i need to start wearing the same thing all the time. then i could be cool like carl sagan, steve jobs and doug funnie.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Reverse Bear Hug

the other way around and it would have been a bit scary. giant panda crushing girl.

by the way, that spot below her nose is a piercing that was a part of the request. not snot or a tear or my brush slipping.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Should Research My Work Better

i've painted dr. who, two k-9's and three tardis' now. i'll actually watch this show.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Or Five

i've painted a lot of turtles. around 20 now (though this is the 16th one titled simply "turtle"). this is the first time i've painted a turtle from a photo of the requester's pet. i added in a back leg even though you can't see it in the photo. who knows if this guy actually has four legs. could be three. or two.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I Think It's Somewhere Between the Knees and Belly Button

this is a vulpix. don't be confused. that's a pokemon. even though it does sound like some vocab word from when you learned female anatomy.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Manipulative Face

this is the first time i've made a puppy look. . . puppy eyed. i think it worked well. i would give this dog absolutely anything it wanted.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

They Know Why It's Called a SWEATer

this request was for a bunny and a koala doing some sort of fun activity. the requester didn't care what the activity was (his suggestions were maybe rowing a boat, playing a piano, cooking food) so i came up with the silliest thing of which i could think. what would a fuzzy bunny and a furry koala not need to ever do? wear a warm sweater. and they had to be doing the activity together. hooray, that added to the silliness! so you now see before you: a bunny and a koala crammed into one sweater.

Friday, November 2, 2012

The Original Suicide Bomber

he's got a decent weapon. . . that kills him if he uses it. do bees know that stinging something will kill them? or do they have no clue until it happens?? a brave sacrifice or a scary realization made only after the stinging decision? do they try, before they expire, to alert their bee brothers that stinging means certain death? how can we find this out?! i need to get inside that little bee brain! holy crap i really want to know.

Thursday, November 1, 2012