Music Store Free Paintings Portfolio

Friday, September 30, 2011

I Guess That Means the Catbus Has Gone to a Better Place, Too

this is what john lennon is doing right now in heaven. i hear that place is awesome.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Thanks for the Trip, Doc

this is what some people do after dental surgery. chase dalmatian spotted goats around a field. or at least they think they do.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

New Album! New Product!

i just released a new album today called The Power Hour Album. 60 drinking songs. they're all one minute long. you can use the album to play a drinking game. start the music and take a shot of beer every time the song changes.

aaaand i also released a new product i've been developing for almost 2 years now. it's known as the Shot Glass USB. it's a shot glass with a removable USB drive that stores my new album. in case that's hard to wrap your head around . . .

album + drinking game + shot glass + USB = awesome

oh, and also the USB is reusable and able to store 1GB of data. oh, and further also, the shot glass comes on a removable lanyard so you can wear it around your neck when you're partying for hands-free fun. get more details in The Power Hour Album Store.

Primates Have Inconsistent Spelling Conventions

why are they called monkeys? it should totally be monkies.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Talented Bird

sure you have a hobby. but can you do your hobby while standing on one foot? with wings.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

He Refused to Take His Gloves Off to Type

signing exhibitors in to the renaissance festival was the hardest task for bob to continue to stay in character. "let me scribe your name into the magic shiny box," said bob. "swipe your shillings card here."

Friday, September 23, 2011

Or Maybe I'll Have a 3D Period of Sculptures

i didn't just choose to make this whole painting yellow. it's based on some all yellow album art for the band Mumm-Ra. though maybe i should consider doing monochromatic more often. maybe i'll have a blue period where every request i fill for an entire month will be in only blue.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Fox Possibly About to Go Vegetarian or Lay Down in Front of a Bear

he looks contemplative. like he's questioning the meaning of life and the place in the universe.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Everyone Can Stop Wondering

confirmed. egg came first. i painted one in June of 2007. the first chicken didn't happen until October 2007

Monday, September 19, 2011

Internet Celebrity

this is a character that showed up once in a comic book. now he's in a ton of photos on the internet. and on my canvas.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Plus They Have the Same Hairstyle

i don't know why they're not friends. they have similar interests: baseball and feathers.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thursday, September 15, 2011

It's Hard to Understand When You First Started Communicating with Letters

this one has not gotten a response back yet when i emailed the requester a photo of the finished painting. it's the boy's grandma that requested this so i'm going to assume that people with two generations below them don't check their email as often as individuals that grew up with the internet. perhaps she'll get back to me some time later.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

They Only Play Covers of Theme Songs

jem, he-man , mary poppins and mendoza (from the animated series Mysterious Cities of Gold) in some sort of imaginary supergroup. the best part is that mary poppins must play keytar while holding her umbrella.

Monday, September 12, 2011

He's Mad I'm Stereotyping Him

seems a little oxymoronic to me. being active on a bike just isn't a sloth characteristic. or a characteristic of any animal for that matter. except for those bears in the circus. maybe sloths have started joining the circus. maybe he's a bear without ears.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

No One Likes Turtles IRL

i feel like turtles aren't really that popular of a pet. people post cat and dog pictures all over the internet. but no one's looking at photos of turtles or owning them as pets. yet i get a ton of turtle requests. i guess people like idealized/cartoonish depictions of turtles but not real pictures of them.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Two Kinds of Late

i'm late posting. and it's late at night right now.

it's late enough that i have nothing to say about this guitar.

Friday, September 9, 2011

A Hedgehog with His Ponies

and here is super sonic, the final of the triptych. i put the combination character in the middle because he's the transition/connection between the two outside paintings. i just noticed, all three characters happen to be mad. fantastical, colorful, angry creatures. i do believe it's because characters like this need angry eyebrows to convey how hard they're working at being awesome.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Cross of Characters

this one goes along with yesterday's painting. it's actually a part of triptych. when the character "sonic" from "sonic the hedgehog" does well, he'll turn into "super sonic". this painting is my interpretation of what rainbow dash would look like if she turned into "super rainbow dash". super sonic is coming tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Try Predicting That with Market Research

there is a show called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". it's target demographic is young girls. unexpectedly, a large number of adult males have become big fans of the show and have taken to the internet to sing it's praises. they call themselves "bronies". this request was from a brony.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

And Has a Thorn in Their Tounge

he's about to do a tango. no, that's not a part of the request. i just assume everyone with a rose in their mouth is about to do a tango.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Happy Labor Day!

i didn't have to go to work today. sweet. also, here's a dog.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Thank Goodness He Replied with His Address or I Would Now Have This Just Laying Around

the person that requested this painting said, "If you have one that says 'Guided by Voices' I would love to have it." really? how passive. asking that way possibly make sense if the request wasn't so specific and uncommon. well, i didn't just have this laying around. i guess i could have replied:

Hey internet stranger!

I looked through all my paintings and none of them had the phase you wanted. Oh well.

Have a day!

but i did not. i created a new one for him even though he didn't ask for that.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Unicorns Are Probably Real Though

as i am positive narwhals don't exist, i am also skeptical of rhinos. anything with a horned face seems fabricated to me. and not even that clever of a fabrication!

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Superior Sea Creature/Human Hybrid

i thought maybe there would be a name for a mermaid that's half octopus instead of a fish. i couldn't find one though. Ursula from The Little Mermaid is just known as a sea witch. being an octopus mermaid would be way cooler than the traditional kind. this way you could be a sea creature and still walk on land. plus you get eight extra appendages. you could do eight things poorly at the same time all while adjusting your shell bra.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Cool People Have Hair on Their Faces

beards and mustaches are popular these days. my proof?
  1. i have received a beard painting request.
  2. Urban Outfitters now has an entire department related to mustache themed products.
  3. the World Beard & Moustache Championships exists.
  4. Ke$ha likes your beard.